ENT Visit-No Change Needed Please

Today was time for the Ear Nose and Throat visit. Why? I do not remember what brought me there a few years ago, but whatever it was is no longer a current symptom. What was revealed at that time was that I had an inherited hearing loss. Not the romantic kind the Rock Stars have-the opposite- hard to fix and not my fault. I rather it was my doing, then I could wonder which deafening rock concert did the damage and feel the like the band members of the "Who". No, mine was just given to me, without my asking; not the result of any shared fun experience. But this explained some of my famous gaffes resulting from mishearing words in a conversation. I have made sure Ruth knows that she has given me this hearing problem. Seems she gave it to my sister also. Today, we are checking the nose, throat and ears. The doctor always asks if I did cocaine as I have a hole in my septum. That would be the thing that separates one side of the nose from the other. When I squirt nasal spray in -it does not even go up, it goes through and comes out very fast, ending up all over my face. And I say "No cocaine, Afrin nose spray". He looks skeptical and enters this comment on his laptop- has a hole in septum-looks like cocaine use. "No" I say "I drink wine, no cocaine use, and ask " Is that why my throat hurts"? Figured my throat needed some attention in this conversation. Doctor says "Not, wine". I reply "shiraz" . That must be the hearing again. I sometimes answer what I think is the question, just to get by. Exam done-time for the hearing test.
I am sent to the "waiting for the audiologist" green couch where two elderly sisters join me. That will be Lois and me in 30 years, I think. While one sister is in with the audiologist we start talking about the Oscars. Last-born elderly sister says "Did you see Heidi Klum's roots?">> <<< "Yes, of course, I did" I reply, but add that "the latest is that it is " in" to have roots".

She replies, "then you would not be
"IN"my head newly highlighted head> She is correct, for today, for this week, for next week, I am not "with it", I have no roots. I say" I will be "IN"in two weeks". As we chat, I am eyeing the results of my audio gram hanging very near me and thinking I want to see it. The memory of Elaine from Seinfeld, floods my mind.http://worldofseinfeld.blogspot.com/search?q= the episode where she reads her chart when the doctor leaves and finds he has noted that she is difficult.
How time changes-there are no charts, They type the info from the exam directly into the PC. I would have to steal the laptop/notebook in its entirety. Doctor returns, No change in my hearing. Yay! In addition, the hearing aids which I never wear are confiscated to be adjustedNow to reception to pay. There is a line. Many people-when I finally get there the receptionist says "those were quadruplets and their parents- I had to enter everything six times. I told her to make sure she did not book my return visit with their next visit. What about those octuplets and other six sibs?
The office would close down.

Liam visits his new vet Change is what we need here. We want Liam to be vetted at the same place he plays. So we go. The last 3 times I have visited his resort, Best In Show, I have forgotten my pocketbook "Big Pink". I think this is because as long as I have something in my hand I think it is "Big Pink". So I had Liam , hence no "Big Pink" . I was without, money, credit, cell, camera, etc, but had a dog. So I guess =
I have now put up a sign on the door, "when leaving- bring, cell, sunglasses, keys and "Big Pink" But on this visit, I only have Liam. No pocketbook, money cell etc. They usher us into a waiting room. There it is. An unprotected laptop and a sentence on the screen. "Liam is a new patient, Mom is very happy with Best in Show and wants to come here". That notation is about me- poor Elaine. She could now just read the laptop/no theft of a chart necessary. Our turn comes, the doctor thinks Liam could lose a pound or two. Yikes, that dreaded Holiday weight gain is lingering.
Liam is mortified.
He turns shades of magenta

All goes well, they have my credit card on file, I am okay to leave. Liam nurses his hurt feelings with a low calorie latte-non fat, only a few licks of foam.

Woof, Woof