 |
| WHAT'S NEW? |
I am on one of a pair of hand -levered bikes with flat snow-shoe pedals. It is part of my routine workout and he knows it. He is a health club lounger. Lounger uses the club to shoot the breeze, talk about himself, watch TV, listen to music...oh and exercise, every now and then. He will do a few stationary weight machines in a jerky incorrect manner. He will pick ones next to other gym members so he can insert himself in your book, your TV gaze, your mood. Sometimes he fast-walks through the weight lifting area, then stops and bounces on the balls of his feet near the entrance to the rest rooms. He hangs over the check-in area until the young woman manning it wants to hide on the floor. |
| WHERE ARE YOU? WANTED TO ASK WHAT'S NEW? |
What does this machine do for you?
What book are you reading (harder to discern now with Kindles)
 |
| SOUNDS LIKE A DELICIOUS READ |
Would I be able to borrow books from your branch?
I have answered these questions with various degrees of annoyance and my answers have led to conversations. I always regret having fallen into his trap because it will lead to another question. He feels entitled. I have given him permission because I engage. I've got him under my sweaty skin and I have given him power. Today he goes too far with his question. How would he know that this question is the tipping point? He doesn't. He asks that question.
What's new?
What's new? Is he serious? He does not have the right to ask such a personal question!! He has asked the very worst question.
I feel a rage surge up quickly and know it is disproportionate to the question. I know why. The asker assumes familiarity. He has trapped me on the bike. I am now on the offensive. If I say nothing is new, does that make me boring?
 |
| NOTHING NEW? YAWN...BORING PERSON |
I have the regressive urge to shout back the old retorts "New York, New Jersey"
I answer with a profundity that gives his question more gravitas than I'm sure he intended. I pause and reply "I don't know how to answer that question. I am here at the health club doing my routine. I am pleased that I am able to work out." As it is coming out of my mouth I know this is an unexpected answer. And possibly provocative.
Not put off at all but encouraged to share, he responds "I know. I could be disabled. I could have had my limbs severed. My leg cut off. One arm. I am whole. I am able to work out, to chat, be active. I am so fortunate to be physically together."
What the heck kind of answer is that? I have struck something in him, but not what I intended. Too much info. Yikes! Severed limbs, disability. Oh no... How nutty a response is his? Or is it perfectly attuned to my response? I get up from the bike. He stands there, watching me leave
At home, I search the Internet for the right answer to the "what's new" question. And the answers depend on who is asking and what you want to accomplish in your reply. Links follow.
Answers for work
http://www.refresher.com/asrhnew.html
Answers for social situations
http://www.thefrisky.com/2009-12-05/how-to-answer-the-dreaded-small-talk-question-whats-new/
I read these. Good advice. However, not for my situation. This stalker/part time exerciser is different. I don't want an ongoing relationship. I desire at the most, hello, goodbye. I don't want to know how to answer his "what's new" question. I want the question not to be asked. What follow are some of my ideas for "what's new" replies and hopefully conversation stoppers.
Q-What's new?
A-Nothing.
Q-What's new?
A-New York, New Jersey
Q-What's new?
A-Cannot hear you, point to hearing aids or remove them. I like this one. It has props to go with the answer
Q Liam, What's new?
A-the following video
Liam, too much info. Just give paw.
Woof, Woof
