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| I CANNOT SLEEP ON PLANES |
In May I traveled to Hawaii.
There were 5 plane flights
JFK-SLC, SLC-Honolulu, Honolulu-Maui, Maui-LAX, LAX-JFK
And each one had its quirks and charms. Let's see what happened
Pre-Flight Concerns
physical discomfort-Restless Leg, insomnia
occupying my time
possibility of annoying seatmates
anxiety over the first three
possibility of annoying seatmates
anxiety over the first three
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| READY TO GO |
THE PHYSICAL ISSUES
My RLS is not an issue. I move my affected right leg constantly yet imperceptibly (in my opinion). I massage my leg while seated. I am covered with the red Delta blanket as well as my shawl and with the tray table down I can do a lot of movement. I get up and walk to the bathroom. I do yoga poses while waiting. Since I have to go 9 times (must be gravity) during the first two flights; there is a lot of yoga. Poses done while sitting as well.
OCCUPYING MY TIME
1-Devices for Reading
I need to be busy. My mind is overly active. I cannot stare off into space. I cannot sleep on planes. My mother said of my father "Charlie can sleep on a picket fence." He also could stare out of a window or at a wall for hours. When asked what was in his mind. "Nothing" I did not inherit his empty head sleepy genes.
Was not buying WIFI. I borrowed ebooks for my Kindle. No one seemed to know if borrowed ebooks would work without WIFI. Why? Technically they are not mine. Purchased Kindle books are yours and there forever. Borrowed ebooks are sucked back by the library after 14 days. So I take a hard cover book as well.
The ebooks work out. They show up in flight. I read three. The library sucked them back in when I returned.
2-The Beverage Cart
The pop of the soda can and the whoosh of its contents being poured. Yes, the beverage cart is on its way. One of the highlights of flights and I do consider it part of the entertainment. I have a vague anxiety of it running out of supplies before it gets to me. I am relieved when it stops by our row. I am on the aisle every flight so I have a good view. I have a few extra seconds to decide what I want since the window and middle are served first.
Coffee
The first flight has Starbucks...Yay...Cannot believe my good fortune...uh oh...not good...somehow they have made weak Starbucks coffee which is almost impossible.
The pop of the soda can and the whoosh of its contents being poured. Yes, the beverage cart is on its way. One of the highlights of flights and I do consider it part of the entertainment. I have a vague anxiety of it running out of supplies before it gets to me. I am relieved when it stops by our row. I am on the aisle every flight so I have a good view. I have a few extra seconds to decide what I want since the window and middle are served first.
Coffee
The first flight has Starbucks...Yay...Cannot believe my good fortune...uh oh...not good...somehow they have made weak Starbucks coffee which is almost impossible.
Adult Beverages
oh yeah...gin and tonic...wine...second and fifth flights...perfect
oh yeah...gin and tonic...wine...second and fifth flights...perfect
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| NOT THE USUAL STARBUCKS |
3-Movies and TV
I seldom go to the movies at home. But here we have movies, TV shows and all kinds of programming. Our own mini TVs.
I seldom go to the movies at home. But here we have movies, TV shows and all kinds of programming. Our own mini TVs.
I opt to start with some movies. I wear hearing aids. I think the ear buds won't go in the space already filled. So I start out without earbuds and therefore no audio.
Carol...one of few movies I wanted to see. I watch and I understand it all. no captions, no sound. A beautiful film.
Brooklyn I read the book a while ago and thought it sad. Some folks tell me the movie is funny. Funny? Are you kidding me? I watch it soundless with Dutch subtitles. English not offered. Works fine. Not as sad in Dutch.
Sisters...I last 10 minutes, sorry Amy and Tina
for the return flights, I take out my hearing aids and use the earbuds
Burnt...Bradley Cooper and Food...got skewered by critics. I like it.
for the return flights, I take out my hearing aids and use the earbuds
Burnt...Bradley Cooper and Food...got skewered by critics. I like it.
Daddy's Home...If it received more than a 1/2 star is overrated
The Affair...TV...the entire second season love Maura Tierney
CNN I am a news junkie and will watch anything with Anderson Cooper
ANNOYING SEATMATES
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| I AM ON THE AISLE EVERY FLIGHT, BEST SEAT |
First
JFK flight to Salt Lake City
fine
Second
SLC to Honolulu
whew...the two folks across the aisle to my right are brother and sister. Brother has the window, sister the aisle. The sister is a missionary. Seated in front are the parents. The four NEVER EVER stop talking and sharing their free snacks...food which they have accumulated and stashed in big zip locks from previous flights. I know it because no one would buy these mini salt-less pretzels and mix them with oily peanuts. The sister demonstrates how she sleeps on flights...she blows up an inflatable pillow until it pins her against the seat like an airbag...unfortunately it does not force her mouth shut...then the brother pushes up the window shade and a beam of blinding light shoots me in the face. Current plane culture is "to keep the shades down" I spend the last hour of the flight alternately holding up my Kindle and the safety placard to shield my face from this beam.
Why didn't I ask him to shut the shade? He seems to have a severe physical disability affecting his ability to sit up. His only position is hunched and facing the window looking out...he is unable to turn his head.to the left. No range of motion. During the last hour of the flight I cannot turn my head to the right so we are a matched set.
JFK flight to Salt Lake City
fine
Second
SLC to Honolulu
whew...the two folks across the aisle to my right are brother and sister. Brother has the window, sister the aisle. The sister is a missionary. Seated in front are the parents. The four NEVER EVER stop talking and sharing their free snacks...food which they have accumulated and stashed in big zip locks from previous flights. I know it because no one would buy these mini salt-less pretzels and mix them with oily peanuts. The sister demonstrates how she sleeps on flights...she blows up an inflatable pillow until it pins her against the seat like an airbag...unfortunately it does not force her mouth shut...then the brother pushes up the window shade and a beam of blinding light shoots me in the face. Current plane culture is "to keep the shades down" I spend the last hour of the flight alternately holding up my Kindle and the safety placard to shield my face from this beam.
Why didn't I ask him to shut the shade? He seems to have a severe physical disability affecting his ability to sit up. His only position is hunched and facing the window looking out...he is unable to turn his head.to the left. No range of motion. During the last hour of the flight I cannot turn my head to the right so we are a matched set.
Third
Honolulu to Maui
The only issue is that we drive most of the way. The airport runway is long. It seems to stretch right to the Maui coast. We ride on it for a half hour, lift off for 20 minutes, then land.
Fourth
Maui to LAX
The woman next to me claims both armrests. This action leaves me with only a left. I am used to it. I cannot win the elbow war...people spread over me. However when she also tries to use my outlet I protest. She does not believe me. I tell her it is like a place setting "knife on the right" I pick the most hurtful utensil as an example. She checks and reluctantly agrees. Armrest woman also drinks a huge amount of liquids...5 diet sodas and every cup of water offered. I am on edge for most of the flight expecting her to need the bathroom. She does not. I make up for her. They say our bodies are 70% water. I leave each flight with only 30%. My bathroom use exceeds all expectations.
Fifth
LAX red eye to JFK
I do not understand the procedure of the red eye. The regulars know what the deal is.
The red eye is the zombie flight. And not mobile zombies.
After a quick run through the plane, the beverage cart retires. As does everyone else. I realize everyone except two of my traveling companions are asleep. Really. The entire plane is in a group trance
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| GOODNIGHT |
Blindfolds
Hats
Blankets
Paws curled up
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| RED EYE ZOMBIE POSITION |
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| ABOUT AN HOUR BEFORE LANDING THE ZOMBIES LURCH AWAKE |
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| HAVE WE LANDED YET? |
I know I cannot do what the red eye regulars do. I have NEVER slept on a flight. But I now know the drill for next time. I will enjoy the quiet. Not expect the cart. And use the bathroom as if it is my own. Because on a red eye it will be.
