Express Checkout 10 Items or Less

The weekly food shopping chore for me was back to Sunday this week. King Kullen seemed a bit more crowded this time. I decided that it was due to daylight savings time assaulting our cozy sleep the night before; propelling people out to shop in the extended daylight and warmth. The weekly food shopping is a team effort. Paul (editor of LiamLicks) prepares the list and I (writer of LiamLicks ) do the physical act of shopping. Understood is that if I notice a weekly staple missing from the list I get the item. This trip I did notice an omission. Salad greens, a staple. I also remembered a conversation the night before- Paul was preparing his Saturday special meal list-a shopping trip completely pleasurable, separate and not a "chore". Paul, "will you be having salad with dinner? My mind envisions a towering treat I recently shared with friends; a lush plate of avocado, organic greens, crab meat and mangoes with a mint garnish.. I ask "Is it the usual mundane salad, without cheese, nuts, dressing and totally healthy?" Paul says "Yes" Paul's salad to the right> Count me out. Paul "Okay, I'll be the only one for salad."
Next day at the store I did notice salad was not on the list. I thought it was too obvious, a trick of some kind. I rationalize its omission by the conclusion that since I did not have salad last night there must be an abundance of greens remaining. I make the decision not to pick up the salad greens and am at peace with it. I have an an easy shopping day, no trouble in the aisles and the songs played mercifully do not include My Boy Lollipop and These Eyes; I get to hear Soldier Boy, Walking in the Rain and South Street.-these songs tug me back to a sweet part of my life. All is good. I return and Paul announces there was a big omission "Let's see if you caught it." No, I did not right any wrongs on this trip, no good Samaritan here, not my job, dude, this girl has to carry all the stuff, why do I have to make list corrections also? Nevertheless, salad is important for the evening and for the next day's lunch. Paul still works and lunch comes from home. "I'll go back" I say, sort of weakly. "No don't" Paul answers, not really convincingly. "No, I will" in a whisper. " You don't really mind, do you?" I recognize this form of the question, termed a "negative leading question," where the person feels they must answer with a negative reply. I am not immune to its power. I am sucked in. "No, I do not mind."

I am going back.
I am in KK, get the salad greens, add some plant spikes, hate to have only one item; maybe these could serve a dual purpose besides fertilizing my plants, possibly add some height to the salad and elevate it to a non-boring status.
Then the drama/comedy/farce begins. Woman (hottie) in front of me has one item-looks like cheese in a bag..

However, there are two people in front of her: mother and teenage daughter; Mom has a cart with many items. Oh no, two people, one vehicle for products. They are doing that divide and conquer thing. The daughter is packing the first ten.. The Mom pays for them with cash. Then Mom puts out the next ten and pays by check. We now have a 20-item cart paid in two transactions.

Not Fair

Mom has a haughty look, is focused on the register screen, never glancing back at the burgeoning line. I stare intently at her, and then the cashier, then back at her daughter, trying to instill guilt in one, in two, or all three of them. After all, I am a product of 16 years of Catholic school. Why were the nuns so good at guilt installation? I look back at the line. One person is engrossed in "the Star", another is lost in "In Style." These customers will not complain because they are "cheating" also. Neither will buy these magazines and they are probably hoping the wait goes on longer so they can finish the articles they are reading. Guy behind me is staring at the Hottie in front of me. Yes, she is hot. Hottie is glazing over; removing herself from the present. Therefore, it is me alone with this conundrum, this debacle of justice, this, well you know my story-with this new material for LiamLicks.
I have a secret. I do not mind what happens, I write about it.

The 20 items of the 20-item women are paid for and packed. The teenager begs for a bag of chips, which Mom allows her to get while we all wait. I sigh very loudly, cashier mouths in my direction- I am sorry-the chips become the 21st item. The 21-item Mom and daughter finally are done and leave. I try to shoot my disgusted thoughts toward their disappearing backs. They do not turn around.

Hottie's item is rung up. But wait. Where did all her bags come from? Was the cheese just a tease? the tip of the iceberg? She had more? No. My active imagination. The bags must be from CVS. She is a one-item hottie.

My turn. Cashier is very friendly. We have that casual cashier/costumer relationship. She has gotten a haircut-looks fab-but I withhold my compliment. This parsimonious act of "compliment withholding" diminishes me; I know that very well, but consider me diminished by this small minded act. Cashier let the 21-item woman on the express line. My revenge on the cashier is to let her new haircut go unnoticed by a serial complimenter-me.

Liam wonders:
There is one family, one cart of 20 items-if they divide their items into 2 purchases of 10 a piece, is that okay for the express line?
There is one person with 20 items who alleges he/she is buying for a house-bound friend -so each sale of 10 is rung up and paid for separately, is that okay for the express lane? Is an invisible friend acceptable?
Do ten bottles of coke and 5 cans of peas count as 2 items (cause 10 cokes are the same species, as are 5 cans of peas, or are they 15 stand alone items?
If you only have one item and the person on front of you has 10, should he/she offer to let you go in front of him/her? Should you ask?
If those reading "The Star" and "In Style" finish the articles before reaching the cashier, should they be liable for payment?

Feel free to comment-Liam is waiting

Woof, Woof

Did Wilma Flintstone have a dog?

Liam chewed through one strap on most of my bras so upon seeing the plethora of one shoulder dresses at the 2009 Oscars the thought occurred to me that this fashion choice might have been dictated by the women's dogs eating their bra straps. An LL reader commented that this style was pioneered by Wilma Flintstone and so it was! see> The question then follows did Wilma and Fred have a dog? Pebbles would have been a great doggy name but it seems that was the name of their child.

For those who are fuzzy on the Flintstones (on TV 1960-1966), here is a little bio:

Wilma Pebbles Slaghoople Flintstone (maiden name Pebbles or Slaghoople—see below) is a fictional character in the popular television animated series The Flintstones. She was the red-headed wife of caveman Fred Flintstone, daughter of Pearl Slaghoople, mother of Pebbles Flintstone and a grandmother. Her best friends were her next door neighbors, Betty and Barney Rubble.

Wilma's personality was based on that of Alice Kramden, wife of Ralph Kramden on the 1950s television series The Honeymooners. Thus, much like Alice, Wilma played the strong-willed, level-headed person in her marriage, often criticizing Fred for pursuing his various ill-fated schemes. Wilma would also often be the one to bail out Fred when one of his schemes landed him in trouble.

Eventually, Wilma and Fred were married, and Wilma became a homemaker, keeping house with such prehistoric aids as a baby elephant vacuum cleaner, pelican washing machine, and so forth. Wilma also enjoyed volunteering for various charitable/women's organizations in Bedrock, shopping, and (occasionally) getting to meet the celebrities of their world, including "Stony Curtis" and "Cary Granite".

In the original series' third season, Wilma became pregnant, and gave birth to the couple's only child, Pebbles.

When Pebbles was a teenager, Wilma (along with Betty) gained employment as a reporter for one of Bedrock's newspapers, the Daily Granite (a spoof of the Daily Planet of Superman fame), under the editorial guidance of Lou Granite (a parody of The Mary Tyler Moore Show's Lou Grant). While employed there, she shared various adventures with prehistoric superhero Captain Caveman, who (in a secret identity) also worked for the newspaper (a la Clark Kent).

Later still, after Pebbles grew up and left home, Wilma started a successful catering business with her neighbor and friend Betty, before becoming a grandmother to Pebbles' twin children, Chip and Roxy.

No Dog mentioned :(

Woof, Woof