I was on my way to my monthly hair appointment, 4 minutes away by car. I usually "nuse" it, meaning do the hypotenuse, angling through instead of doing the right angle turn at New Hyde Park Road and Hillside Avenue. The hypotenuse is the side opposite the right angle. It is a shorter distance.-so it should really be a shortcut. Add in the traffic light at Hillside Avenue and NHP road, "nusing it" is almost always quicker.
However, not this time.
When the green left turn arrow invited me to do so; I made my left turn from New Hyde Park Road onto Hillside Avenue. Light traffic. It was Friday, May 8, at 9:55 AM so the school and work traffic were done. I proceeded down Hillside and made every light, not on yellow either; legit green. As I neared my hair salon, I noticed a black car behind me, lights flashing. I thought, Wow, some of these cars whizzing by me are in for a speeding ticket today. I continued to the corner, made a left and pulled to the side to park This black car with flashing lights followed, pulling up behind me. What! This car is following me! At this exact moment my friend, the hair salon owner, pulls in opposite me and waves. I motion with my head to the car behind me. She nods, sizing up the situation immediately. A police officer emerges from the flashing black car and strides up to my car's left side. I attempt to roll down the window, but Sassy (my Saturn's name)
is not cooperating, the window is stuck. I open the door, Police Officer (seems to be real, not a impostor, we have had impostors in Nassau) says, "Do not get out."No, I am not. Just cannot get the window down."P.O.-"Did you know I was following you since you turned at New Hyde Park Road? Me-"No. I never noticed." Why would I? I did nothing to merit being followed. I am thinking I am on the TV show "Lost" as this guy looks like Richard 
from the Dharma initiative. Perhaps I have traveled back in time just like the characters on the show as this cannot be happening in this current enlightened time. P.O.- "License and registration please." You have to be kidding! Police officer-"You went over markings on NHP Park Road." Markings? What is he talking about? I mention that I have a hair appointment right now. I add "and that is why I am waving to the person on the other side of the street." P.O.-I will get you in there soon "My appt. is at 10 AM. I hate to be late. The police officer from "Lost" takes my info. My friend goes to him to see why I am being detained and what, if anything, can be done. She gets nowhere.Obviously, he is indeed from the Dharma initiative and I am now starring in "Lost." My crime is a mystery to me. I have a ticket for something not even listed on the ticket form and the range is $180-230. His parting admonition of "Drive safely the rest of the day" just seems cruel.
I enter the salon to much sympathy and anger as well as confusion over my offense.
After I am done , I drive to the NHP Road and the Hillside intersection to take some shots of the "markings" I have violated. As I am shooting, a tow truck
( not pictured) comes by and its driver lets loose a bunch of curses. " F_ _ _ Y_ _ B_ _ _ _ Stop taking my picture. You have no right." Great. Now I am abused by a driver, full of road rage who thinks I am photographing him. He must be guilty of something and I bet he knows what it is. I envy his knowledge of his crime. Where is my unmarked police car when someone is really misbehaving? I do not understand my offense recorded as "drove over markings at NHP Road and Oak Drive. When Paul comes home we drive down to the street, to revisit the "scene of the crime." Paul decides the crime is that I went into the left turn lane too early for my turn
and drove over the grid markings
. Hmm.Of course, I intend to go to court to plead innocent. No court in session that day. The following Monday I am booked all day. My first free time is Tuesday afternoon, May 12th. I set out for the Hempstead Court House that afternoon. I am very lost for a while. This always happens to me in Hempstead, as so many streets intersect and end up in different places after they cross each other. I finally arrive. The court officers are very nice. I am informed that I am too early. I am told that my ticket has not yet arrived, maybe by the end of May. For some reason, one of the officers asks my age, and for an even stranger reason, I tell him. "I am 58." No reaction. I say, "Your mouth is supposed to drop. You then say. You look so young."
He says, "I am 61, do I look young?" Oh, yes," I reply obsequiously. Another question from this court officer-"Are you married? Me-"Yes." Officer-"Too bad, I am looking."They suggest I call in a few weeks to see if my ticket has arrived. One of the group jokes, "Of course by the time we answer the phone, you will be 59." I reply "By then maybe I will be single." Only kidding.
No resolution.
Liam waits at home patiently
By the way, I arrived in the salon at 10:07 AM. Late. However, the ticket was written at 10:00 AM on the dot. I was there timely. Whew! I am NOT GUILTY.
NOT GUILTY of being late for my hair appointment, that is.
Woof, woof
