Shut Your Mouth

MAYBE I CAN GET SOME FOOD IN THIS WAY

My quarterly visit to my dentist was October 2
I had an issue and it was not teeth, tongue or gums
His advice

Control your yawns
Don't eat sandwiches
Take Advil
Minimize chewing
Cold compresses
Wear your mouthguard at night

Any guesses?

TMD or more popularly but incorrectly known as TMJ
here is the link with all the info
https://www.webmd.com/oral-health/guide/temporomandibular-disorders-tmd#5

Your temporomandibular joint is a hinge that connects your jaw to the temporal bones of your skull, which are in front of each ear. It lets you move your jaw up and down and side to side, so you can talk, chew, and yawn.
Problems with your jaw and the muscles in your face that control it are known as temporomandibular disorders (TMD). But you may hear it wrongly called TMJ, after the joint.

Crack. Ouch. Bone grinding noise.
My left jaw is stuck.
A year ago, we were at our fave restaurant Crabtree's.
http://www.crabtreesrestaurant.com/
I opened my mouth to take a bite of my salad and my left jaw popped, then locked open. Oh no. I massaged it, slurped some wine and managed to slither the salad into the right corner of my mouth, After a few days, the problem subsided to bearable. I have lived with it for the past year.

MOUTH WIDE OPEN

A few weeks ago my left jaw began popping with annoying regularity. Sometimes getting stuck. The pain radiated around my neck, face, ears and jaw. And there was a sort of lumpiness under my jaw. Constant. A change for the worse. I considered following Liam's tongue out method for scooping up food and drink. My tongue is not as long or as mobile.

SCOOP WITH TONGUE

We don’t know what causes TMD. Dentists believe symptoms arise from problems with the muscles of your jaw or with the parts of the joint itself.
Injury to your jaw, the joint, or the muscles of your head and neck -- like from a heavy blow or whiplash -- can lead to TMD. Other causes include:

• Grinding or clenching your teeth, which puts a lot of pressure on the joint     yep
• Movement of the soft cushion or disc between the ball and socket of the joint yep
• Arthritis in the joint  maybe
• Stress, which can cause you to tighten facial and jaw muscles or clench the teeth yep

  I have all four.

LIAM RESTING JAW

Okay what do I do?
In addition to the advice and admonitions my dentist offered at the outset of the story
I was told my solutions were not helping
My Solutions
I was exercising my jaw all day by popping it and unsticking it. Was painful but I thought I was working it. This aligns with my belief that movement is better than non-movement in physical ailments. .
Don't Do it 
There is a risk of grinding the jaw down to bone on bone.

I was not taking Advil. I figure I must embrace this new pain to raise my pain threshold because the future holds more pain. Also combating physical affliction distracts me from my active mind with its non-stop ideas, anxiety and fears and rotating addictions.
Take it
reduces inflammation. and swelling causing the pain

See a chiropractor A friend had seen her chiropractor and he reached in and cracked her jaw, using an open fist. Was unexpected. She was shocked. It worked

Don't Do It

What else will help?

Massage

Liam and Paul illustrate in the first photo following
and
A favorite of Paul's
Keep my mouth shut

JAW MASSAGE

MOUTH SHUT. WOOF, WOOF

Meltdowns

FRENZIED FEELING

I have a meltdown about once a year. What is a meltdown? The word meltdown has several meanings and applications.
Here are three meanings to the word
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/meltdown
I am talking a personal meltdown. 

The rapid loss of emotional control. Liam helps illustrate.

MELTDOWN

Normally I am polite and patient and thankful. I know it because the way I present myself to the outside world is deliberately consistent. My sister has said "You are the always the same." I am not sure if this is good or bad. Medicating with a daily Cymbalta pill for anxiety and depression keeps me sort of sane and formidably even-tempered. I go with the flow.
Except...in my meltdown state

THE NORMAL...OKAY, WHATEVER

Who is this raving lunatic I keep within me? When and why does she come out? What initiates my losing it? I learned with my latest episode what I am melting down over is not at all what is really bothering me. It is misdirected loss of control in order to avoid acknowledgement of the real issue. An Ahha moment (thanks Oprah) And is this big? Yes. Because this insight may help to offset having future meltdowns. And I would like to, as mine have been public and embarrassing. I fill with shame. Want to put my head down and beg for forgiveness and hide.

POST MELTDOWN, I CANNOT GO FOR MY WALK

I want to do a rewind. I apologize. Write notes. And apologize again. These episodes are as puzzling to me as to my audience.
Occurrences in my ENT office, Best in Show Pet Resort, CVS, library. I have considered moving.
I'll give you two examples.

1-Best In Show Pet Resort  
 September 2016
I am picking up Liam after a destination wedding vacation. He comes shooting out of the back and I ask for his collar and leash. Staff person "We don't keep those items for boarding. You have it" 
What! I don't have it!!!! and here I go from normal to crazed. All his identifying jewelry is on his collar. His rabies tag. License.
I think the collar loss is worse than losing a wallet. They search. Soon the front desk and back of the house staff are all involved. Paul brings a collarless Liam to the car. Returns immediately. The collar and leash are on the back seat. I am nuts with embarrassment. Apologies. Profuse and repeatedly until Paul drags me out. I go home and write a note to the staff. I consider moving.  
What Happened
Since July 13 2016 I had not been well. Recovering from a diverticulitis attack and going about life as usual. It was not life as usual. I was always the same to the world. I even went to Yoga Class doubled over in pain and passed it off as a yoga pose.
I was scheduled for surgery the next week. Been holding it together for 3 months and the meltdown was about my health. Not about the collar.

MELTDOWN

2-Library  
August 2017
At home, on a Sunday night, I check my library online account for holds. I want to see the status of  Al Franken's book on which I have a hold. I see I am in arrears for $.10. What? I always return books on time. Never would I owe. I am not that type of person. Yes, you read correctly...one dime. This throws me into a rant and an angry tirade pops out. Paul tells me forget it for now and suggests next time I am at the library to work it out. No. I insist we go the next morning. And we do. Paul waits in the car. I approach the desk calmly.

I AM NOT GUILTY

I say "There is a problem, I have a late fee, this is not correct. I returned the book on time."
The staffer says, "No, it was returned a day late. Me "No it was not, and I add "I returned it to you." Ooh. Mean girl. You get the gist. I also added in "I would never have a late book." (unsaid, I am perfect) The exchange was tense. I am cringing as I write this. She removes the fee from my account as I will not leave until the terrible debt is expunged from my spotless record.. I leave. I return to the car and tell Paul they were insistent I was wrong. I ask him if he remembers. He doesn't. Then I remember. I was a day late. I go back in. They are huddled...talking about me. I apologize. I offer the dime. I try to get them to take it. I place it on the desk. They push it back. I know they think I have lost it. Yes, I have. I owe Hillside Library a dime.
What Happened 
It was not the book. It was not the dime. I had been dealing with a acquaintance/friendship issue. I had not stood up for myself. I was accepting undeserved abuse. Internally I had been steaming for weeks. I had a meltdown with innocents.
Oh, and if you are reading this, it is not you. The person is not a LiamLicks reader. And it was resolved when I stopped being the victim.

STAND UP FOR YOURSELF

AWAKENING

PC issues were affecting my blogging. My mobile blogging had been severely curtailed since the mobile app had been obsoleted due to IOS Apple updates and the enmity between Google and Apple preventing any sort of coalescence. I had to write on two devices and trick the app. I was on a reduced scheldue. See the link for the prior blog story

http://liamlicks.blogspot.com/2017_08_13_archive.html

Now upon return from a weekend destination wedding the PC monitor display would not come on. My blogging life was dead. We tried all the online fixes. No success. I bought a new monitor. Same. I bought a new PC. I knew the scope of the problem was beyond our ability to fix. I was calm. But I knew from prior meltdowns the loss of PC function was big for me. It was not okay. I was cut off from my blogger world. Pushing away the panic would result in another meltdown.

I began researching solutions, engaging Paul in my distress. Going to Home Advisor

http://www.homeadvisor.com/ 

reading reviews and hiring a pro.

What Happened

I had learned from my August meltdown to assess, think, and go to what really was causing me emotional distress. Don't push it down. The computer/monitor issue and the blogging app problem were tangibles. Fixable. The emotional part was fear of being forgotten. Losing my audience. Disappointing my LiamLicks loyalists who have stuck by me for my 10 years of blogging.

We hired a pro who is 

Kevin Kim www.celesIt.com

Highly recommend. Kevin is regular and normal and a genius. And he laughed at my jokes.

A meltdown prevented. 

I thought it out.

Refused to go nuts. And met a computer wizard who fixed our issues, enlarged my understanding of PC problems, explained new advances in the Internet world, shared his well considered opinions.

Read my blog and liked Liam!

Thank You, Kevin

Some of you may have thought. This woman has other issues. 

I do

I am ALWAYS right

except when I am not

I am ALWAYS in control

except when I have a meltdown

I am ALWAYS perfect

usually

I have problems after destination weddings. 

Possible

THINK, DON'T MELT DOWN

 Woof, Woof

Created from a Colon

LIAM IS 10

For a few consecutive Wednesdays I have had dates with the Vietnam Vets of America. Their uniformed drivers come down our block, walk to our porch and carry away items from my former life.

here is their link

http://www.wepickup.org/

My former life would be the one I lived before my September 26, 2016 sigmoid colectomy surgery. I have written several blog stories about the experience. My new life created from a colon. If you want a refresher or have not read the blog here are the links.
http://liamlicks.blogspot.com/2016/10/it-began-with-three-numbers.html
http://liamlicks.blogspot.com/2017/03/new-tattoo.html
My surgery was not a result of careful planning to fix my chronic diverticulosis; more like a seven alarm fire, quick and necessary, to remove an angry colon waiting to explode.
Had to be done for quality of  life and for survival. And it was. 


Donating

I did not recover fully until May. I was unable to do my routine activities for a long time and when I resumed them I wanted to enact them in a new way. It was as if my brain was streamlined along with my colon. Everything I had done before I felt compelled to do differently. And I wanted many of my possessions to move on. Share the wealth. Pay it forward. Slogans. Mantra. Those I would keep would appear in new locations around the house. Whenever I looked around I would spot an item I no longer needed, connected with or knew why I had it. And some evoked a sad memory or a poignant experience. Others stayed because I smile when looking at them. A red leather bag I never use. It makes me happy to see it.
I began removing items. Clothes, books, glasses, mugs, vases, jewelry, decorations, paintings, accessories, shoes, electronics.... donating what was usable and putting the rest curbside. The Vets are thrilled with me. As are those who scavenge on garbage days. Sanit men are okay too. I tip well at Christmas.
There will be more Wednesdays.
Oh and readers, I am sure I did not dispatch any of your carefully selected gifts. If I remembered they were your carefully selected gifts..

MOM, DON'T GIVE THESE AWAY! MY FAVES

Cleaning 
Brillo 

We had the rooms of house painted, the exterior and driveway powerwashed, the pavers freed of poking weeds ..Indoors, I put furniture, paintings, and housewares in new locations.
I brilloed everything even the floors. Brillo works on wood. I removed ground in dirt and lightened the wood color of my desk, tables, cabinets. I dismantled the fridge. The stove, Oh my, what lies beneath!
I love Brillo...after a glass or two of wine I can spot dirt no one else can see.
I have a hazmat cleaning outfit. I am currently in the basement. That's a challenge.
Readers, do you know you can brillo wooden floors?
To brillo
have brilloed
have had to brillo
a verb in our house 
I have a Brillo pad either coming or going at all times


Crabtree's

Our #everyFridaynight dinners went on hiatus last August. My illness and Crabtree's annual vacation dovetailed for a while and prevented the Friday Crabtree's dinners. They came back from vacation at the end of August; I came back November 11. When I returned we got our feet wet by doing lunch. I realized I liked lunching it. We now do lunch and dinner and switch it up. I don't check in on FB anymore either. It became an event in itself. I spent all night taking pictures and the next two days talking about it. I had created a job. I was a Crabtree's reporter and promoter. They do fine.
They do not need me. I am retired.


Health Club

I had been going in the early morning. Setting my iPhone alarm to wake me. My ring tone is a barking dog. Liam jumped when it went off. I did as well. Jarring. After my surgery I could not...wait...I would not get up to go early anymore. I am retired. I now go anytime I want. Freeing. The afternoon people welcomed me back. Occasionally I do go in the late morning to connect with the morning crowd. Not as early.

NO MORE 7AM. PLEASE MOM

Bathing suit

Had not worn one in 20 years. I bought two and wore them in Florida and on our June Bermuda cruise. Imagine, I had gone to Hawaii and not brought a suit. In my mind wearing a bathing suit was over for me. A person who loves the water! Got married on the beach. Swam laps for years. It is not over. I am back.

Keratin

A hair treatment I stopped. Keeps one's hair smooth, coated and flat and straightish. Was good for 7 years. Expensive and time consuming and chemicals on the head.. It takes over one's life for a few days.
Done with it.
Note, I do not object to the chemicals or time required to do my highlights and lowlights. Oxymoronic thinking

Clothes

Changed my wardrobe
Zulily
Greater Good
Rent the Runway

RENT THE RUNWAY DRESS

I decided I do not want to spend a lot on clothing. Why would I want clothes to last? Sorry LL Bean. I don't want to outlive my clothing. And I get tired of clothes quickly. I guess my accelerating age is driving me out of my current outfits at a rapid pace. I rented a dress for my nephew's wedding; it worked out fine. I returned it after the wedding weekend. Really, no one cares what the crazy baby boomer aunt wears. Zulily is a treasure place for low priced clothes. And my Greater Good purchases feed animals, homeless veterans, provide mammos and help for many causes. What a caring shopper I am!

Jeweler

Broke up with Jacques. We had an ideal connection for 20 years. Done. Here are two pairs of my new style earrings. They are kinda heavy but I like to suffer a bit. I was raised a Catholic.

My new jeweler is Stephanie. We met on Instagram while I was visiting Port St Lucie
https://stephaniekantis.com/collections/spring-2017
Oh
and about

Visiting

I have often been invited to visit long distance family and friends. I am now doing it. Went to Port St Lucie, Florida in March
Watch out readers, If you invite me I may show up!

Tattoos

Had to represent my colon life changes
Semicolon
Your story is not over: you can write it another way
first two photos

And Celtic symbol of strength inspires me to keep going. Next two photos

A LITTLE WINED UP AFTER MY TATTOO
CELTIC FOR STRENGTH

CELTIC SYMBOL 
FOR 
STRENGTH

SHOWING OFF BOTH

Blogging

I have published 313 plus stories in the last ten years. I like to write. I like to share. and I had it in my mind I had to adhere to a schedule. And promote LiamLicks every way possible especially on social media. Retweet other bloggers and #hashtag them to get them circulated. I no longer have any of the marketing desire. It left with my damaged colon. I like blogging for my friends, family and others who might happen upon the blog. I have had a lot to say, Now it takes a while to pull out my thoughts and assemble my photos..The blogger mobile app is defunct. The ease of spilling out my thoughts wherever I am is gone. Obstacles. It is okay.
I have 1300 plus Twitter followers. A few must be reading the blog. There will always be a LiamLicks.

Family

Mine was contracting while others were expanding. I did not foresee this happening. I have had a network of friends from all areas and stages of my life. Paul and I did not reproduce. This closed off any expansion from us. And all over folks are multiplying and their clans are growing through marriages, births and remarriages. This is is a natural progression in life's stages. I love sharing in it. Thank you. 
However.
Cannot be stagnant and irrelevant. Or I will disappear. Which could happen as everyone moves on in their extended families.
What to do? Celebrate what we have...and we did...first party in 10 years...for our son Liam Joseph McNiff-Nikol who turned 10 on August 1st, 2017.

LIAM'S PARTY

Legacy

We have a Carol McNiff Family Tree on Ancestry. I started with only a few leaves and branches. After I did the DNA test in 2014 it changed. Family appeared and reached out. With the help of my Ancestry cousins, the tree is flourishing. I have connected and reconnected with cousins. In person meetings have generated lasting friendships. This will be my way of expansion. They are family! And they are many in number.  We have found one another and more will join in as DNA is tested.

Without our own kids there will be no branches emanating from us. But we have given life to babies long forgotten who lived only briefly on this earth.  My great grandfather's 8 siblings, who died in infancy...few knew them...their stays on this earth counted by months. None of them made it to the USA. They were born and died in England; children of Irish born parents desperately trying to make a living. Through Ancestry we found a group buried in a Catholic cemetery in Sheffield, England. They all are now living on my tree. These babies were physically present only a tiny amount of time but now are immortalized and their names seen by many. As are their parents whose ancestors are mine as well.  In a way, I am here because of them. And I will keep on researching and sharing and reaching out to find more info to honor their lives. And find the last unidentified baby. I have help. My cousins who contacted me and built their trees for me. My new family. By working on the tree I am establishing a legacy for the current and future generations. A nontraditional way of expanding.

A RED CHAIR, NEW OUTLOOK

Liam and I attained new ages in August. 

LIAM VIEWING HIS BIRTHDAY GIFTS

 We both thank you all for your birthday wishes.

AUGUST BIRTHDAY CELEBRANTS

Woof Woof

Cool Carol Hot Liam

LEOPARD  LIAM

Sitting on a blanket is cozy and soft. However; blankets exude a bit of heat and are not temperature friendly for the summer days. Two years ago I bought a cool dog pad to help Liam get through the summer. I say "Look Liam, come sit on the cool pad." I even put treats on it. Could not get Liam to use it. Doesn't like any object beneath him which he has not personally chosen. Here are some visuals of the cool pet pad package and the pad folded and unfurled.

THE COOL PET PAD

The pad is always cool. no ice, no fridge. I started using it on me. I wore one out. Got a second which went to Hawaii and Bermuda. The traveling cool pad. I use it to offset infrequent  wine headaches, to avoid turning on the hated AC, to take the sting out of a bug bite. Or to be a cool Carol. See following demonstration photo.

COOL DOG PAD IN USE ON HUMAN

It is mine. Liam is content with his cooling spots.

TABLE MATS WORK ALSO

The cool wooden floor. Or the hot rug near the open window.

AH, COOL WOODEN FLOOR

HOT RUG BUT WINDOW IS OPEN

If you like it
It comes in three sizes and is available from Amazon. If you want your body cool, get the large. Medium for your back. Small for head. Or get several and lay on some and drape yourself with others.


Woof, Woof

Ruth is still Flying

I AM NOT A FREQUENT FLIER

I renewed my passport in January 2017, its month of expiration. On Sunday I am going on a cruise to Bermuda.and though U.S. citizens are permitted to sail without a passport I thought I would I feel more secure knowing I had one. My mother Ruth advocated for all of us to maintain current passports. In her world view one never knew when a travel opportunity might arise. Whenever I  renew my passport Ruth is present in my mind. I had a passport when I was young and will have a passport as I grow old.  And this leads me to our passport miracle. Read on.

MY CURRENT PASSPORT

Ruth's Writings
In May 2010, two months after Ruth died, I wrote a blog story about my search for Ruth's writings. She was an observant writer and I wanted to have what I could find to keep her spirit accessible...notes, postcards, letters, occasion cards, any scrap with a communication on it. 
I found a bunch and wrote about them and included some samples. Here is the link for the story

http://liamlicks.blogspot.com/search/label/Letters%20to%20Carol

One letter I found contained instructions on where to find her treasured documents should she pass away suddenly. It was dated October 2003. She drew a map to help us in our hunt. Well, I had not remembered its existence in 2010 when we were cleaning out her apartment. Paul assured me we had checked all the hiding places. I agreed. I surmised Ruth must have changed her hiding place. I did have most of her old passports; only lacking the most recent one. I figured she had kept it out in plain sight and I missed it. Here is her 2003 letter.

2003 RUTH LETTER

I had wanted Ruth's last passport to complete her life story. Traveling was her passion; it defined who she was. She was compelled to do it. As young singles Ruth and my godmother Eileen Scott traveled all over the country. They had wild adventures. Think an early Thelma and Louise. When she began seriously dating my Dad, she convinced him to not pursue his teaching dreams but to work for TWA so they could fly for free. He agreed, applied to the TWA, got the job and they eloped (flying for free to Catalina Island)
Ruth quit American Airlines, got a better paying job with the Port Authority and they were set to start their traveling life. See her souvenir from the Port Authority's opening day December 14, 1950.

RUTH'S PORT AUTHORITY PAPERWEIGHT

My parents became world travelers and my sister and I benefited from the free flying perk until we graduated school. After my dad's death in 1997, Ruth's yearly trips to Spain continued solo.
I felt the coda to her life story would have been securing final passport.

In January 2014 I received a call from Marcia, an administrator from UniversityVillage, Ruth's last residence. I recognized her voice; we had dealt with each other while I was there in 2010. Marcia told me a new tenant in my mother's apartment had discovered Ruth's passport under the sink hidden in the pipes. Just as she had described in her 2003 letter.
What!!!
Gobsmacked!
Marcia said the passport was current and had some years left. She asked me if I wanted it and I told her I had been missing it. We joked that Ruth was still flying.
Here it is. Ruth renewed in it 2007. There are no new stamps on it. She had not had the opportunity to travel abroad after its renewal..
I'll dedicate this Bermuda trip to her.
Ruth has until July 24, 2017. See below

RUTH IS STILL FLYING

Oh and Liam has something to add.


If I were a service dog, I would fly. I am not. In my dreams I am flying.

I'M FLYING TOO!

Woof, Woof

Puppucino

LIAM LOVING HIS PUPPUCINO

Liam loves my lattes. We have documented and shared his latte licking videos and photos. Starbucks also has a treat especially for pups. And Liam is over the moon for it. The Puppucino

The puppucino has been popularized by an Animal Rescue organization The Kitsap Humane Society of Washington state. Each week a staffer takes an adoptable pup on a car trip to Starbucks and videos him/her lapping up the expresso size cup of whipped cream- which is the puppicino



By sharing these videos on social media the featured pup in its adorable licking mode gets hundreds of views. And watching a dog do a puppucino is a treat for us humans. We want to adopt the dog enjoying the puppucino. The chances of rescuing rise with each lick.
Here is the link explaining
http://www.glamour.com/story/starbucks-secret-menu-item-for-dogs-is-the-puppuccino

many Starbucks puppucinos have been hashtagged and posted to Instagram. Here are two screenshots. The count at the top right of the first photo shows 34,518

and here is Liam lapping up his first puppucino

Liam post Puppucino whip cream coma
Not staged 

and after going back for seconds, He ate the cup

IT'S GONE MOM

had his second recently
Thank You New Hyde Park Starbucks

ARE THERE ANY MORE MOM?

Woof, Woof