It Began with Three Numbers

LIAM HEADS INTO THE ICE CREAM

 Back then 

They are always there. The three numbers in the date boxes on our kitchen wall calendar....176, 175...190, 189...weekends are bare. As are a few other days. What are these? My father Charlie is the recorder. I learn they represent his weight.

See screenshot for an example of what I see growing up

My father likes food, he likes to drink and he likes to look fit. He walks. Long walks. To Rockaway and back to do some overnight crabbing. We live in Flushing. An astonishing distance. He also snacks all night long right until bedtime. He will have to walk for days to burn the calories he consumes each night.

He rarely achieves his ideal weight. All fad diets are tried. And the numbers keep being annotated.

Summer 1963.  I am recently 13. My mother approaches me, arms extended as if she might grab and hug me. What? Ruth is not a hugger. I freeze still. She places one hand on each of my shoulders, looks at my face and says "Carol, you are getting a little chubby. We'll go to the doctor and fix you" 

Fix me! What a trick! I am expecting a hug. I am reeling. We march off to the doctor. On the classic  height and weight scale, I am 5'1" and 103 pounds.

Okay. My mother wants it and I am going to do it. I am fat. I must be fixed. I am a quick study on calories and a ferocious dieter. Back in the 1960's it is not easy to do a calorie count. There are no nutritional labels on foods. There is no Internet to ask. There are few calorie books. I manage to figure out calories pretty close to what they are. My fave snack, Cheezits, confounds me. I am addicted. I have to know how many I can safely eat. I estimate what one would be by translating ounces and cups and figuring out calories arithmetically by hand.  No calculators in those days. You have to be committed to come up with calorie counts. I come up with 6 per cheezit. When the calories counts begin to be displayed in the 1980's I am delighted to see I have computed each Cheezit calorie count almost exactly...see screenshot. 150 divided by 27= 5.55555556

Within a year my strict adherence to calories morphs into anorexia
I excel in eating disorders. I progress to bulimia in college. Anorexia is a lonely disease, In college, I am social. I have to eat. What do you do? Put it in and get it out. You don't have to keep it. Hello, toilet bowl. I know every bathroom in every place I frequent.

I have a running count of calories in my head at all times and still do.

Anorexia. Bulimia. Gain weight..Lose weight. Hide food, Throw away food. Move around food. Cover food. Exhausting. Decades.

I never give a thought to my colon. I have always thought it unusual I escaped unscathed from all those eating disorder years...no stomach issues, no tooth enamel destruction...no esophageal damage...well...I did not escape...though there is no definitive cause for diverticulitis I am going with my eating disorders for me

MOM, WHAT'S A COLON?

Colon, where is it and what does it do? And what happens when it gets damaged. Here is a doctor approved link on diverticulitis

https://www.fascrs.org/patients/disease-condition/diverticular-disease-expanded-version-0

I have had diverticulosis since 2001 and periodically have had diverticulitis attacks. Apparently the cumulative damage caught up to me. My most recent diverticulitis attack starts the evening of July 13 after swallowing a mouthful of broccoli. Its treatment begins a few days later. I am referred to a surgeon immediately and surgery is scheduled for September 26th.

We have to wait to calm down the angry colon and free it of infection before the surgery.

My Doctor, Cristina Sardinha , explains to me that this condition will not improve and will keep getting worse. She asks "Do you want to have to deal with this forever, you are young. What if it happens on a trip?'

She is right.  My quality of life is affected 

Dr. Sardinha is the wife of Dr.Marc Sher who did Paul's hernia in 2013

They are adorable. She is Brazilian. Share the practice.

See article about them 

https://issuu.com/hilleldov/docs/ns_2010-11/9

The last three months of multiple infections (including the dreaded cdif) and fighting them with antibiotics are debilitating...often with myriad side effects...all but death. But we get there.

The surgery happens. My gifted doctor and her team fix me. I stay at LIJ for 7 days.

My last doctor visit on October 11 goes well.. All infected incision sites clear.

Last pill taken that night.

Now I will know how I actually feel. 

I am released on my own.

RIGHT AFTER SURGERY, OBVIOUSLY DRUGGED

I am home. Recovering. Slow going. I cannot eat regularly yet, Low residue diet for several more weeks. I find it wryly amusing. I spent decades with my eating disorders controlling every morsel and now I must do the same. However, I am sanctioned to do so. I am not supposed to eat. How funny. Really. My self inflicted suffering is now the recommended treatment. Okay, not total equivalency.  But close. How pleasing now I am officially approved to not to eat. Been waiting for approval all my life. And now I can let it go

AH, DREAMING OF A LITTLE BITE OF FOOD

In 1997, I spent a few days at my parents' home before my father died. The numbers were still being annotated. I hope the numbers were ones he wanted to end up with. 

In 1993, my mother said to me "You are too thin" I waited 30 years to hear it.

It began with three numbers.

I am fixed. I have a chance to live without pain. And fear of attacks. Thank you to my outstanding doctor and her team and Seven South at LIJ

Epilogue

In the October 20, 2016 issue of Rolling Stone Bruce Springsteen shared this insight  "If you don't start unpacking your baggage, it gets heavier as you move along. The weight becomes impossible to carry and it can get pretty messy." 

Bruce unpacks his baggage with 4 hour shows, a touch of klonopin and therapy.

NO HIDING, COME OUT, UNPACK YOUR BAGGAGE

I had my colon reduced to a semi colon (thanks to a friend for that one) 

Unpacked physical baggage. Damaged colon piece gone. Two good parts sewn.together.

I unpacked some emotional baggage as well.

I will get a second tattoo to celebrate  

A friend found this one for me.

What do you think readers?

SEMICOLON TATTOO

Woof, Woof

The Purpose of Paul

The three of us are at Pet Valu replenshing Liam's food supply. Liam's framed photo is on the wall.  He struts in like a star. I engage the cashier with Liam stories. Liam charms an assistant for a treat. Paul controls him as best he can. When all transactions are complete, I turn from the counter, glance over at the boys and head to the door. I hear Paul's voice "Remember the food"

Oh, of course. The reason we are here. Dog food. We all laugh. And Paul declares "That is my purpose."
And then I name it The Purpose of Paul

Definition To notice what I am about to leave behind.

PAUL LOOKS AFTER MY WINE

I have worked on my solo leavings and pretty much eradicated this problem. I had been known for leaving an item behind. Here is how I licked the problem. I have three checks I use upon leaving. Sometimes all are used. Other times, one or two.

They are:

1- I have iPhone audio reminders set to alert upon leaving my regular places. 

2- I recite a verbal mantra which consists of going over what I brought in and what must be brought out.

3- I enlist available friends to chime in with verbal reminders when I leave. 

It works

I am no longer that person who leaves her sunglasses on your picnic table, my Kindle in the health club, my iPhone on your couch.

When solo, with my fixes in place  I am cured of my leavings

However, when with Paul I relax my procedures. And he takes over. And the possibility of forgetting arises.

Should I now fix the non-solo leaving issue? I don't know. 

Paul has a job. He picks up leavings. Watches. Is there for cleanup.

Liam knows. Has understood since he was a pup...intuitively knew the Purpose of Paul 

And here are Liam's "knowings"

Liam knows Paul provides a safe gap in which Liam shelters during summer fireworks.

PURPOSE OF PAUL DURING FIREWORKS

Liam knows the purpose of Paul in several activities. 

FOR WATCHING THE US OPEN 2016

FOR SNUGGLES

FOR CANINE HUMAN COMMUNION

FOR SENDING LIAM'S TEXTS

Readers, what do you think?

Should Paul continue in his "leaving" purpose? Or should I relieve him of this responsibility? 

Woof, Woof 

Yellow Bird, Where Have You Gone?

WHERE IS MY YELLOW SIBLING?

Yellow Bird, where are you?

YELLOW BIRD IN OUR DOGWOOD

Last blog Liam was looking AT a possible new sibling. If you missed and want to check it out here is the link, then scroll up for this week's

http://liamlicks.blogspot.com/2016/08/yellow-bird.html

In today's follow up blog Liam is looking FOR his possible sibling.

HE ALWAYS EATS RIGHT HERE

I GUESS I CAN WAIT

Thank you for your votes and for your interest in YB. After last post and receiving your votes, which were mostly in favor of capturing YB (Yellow Bird) we set out to do just that. But YB has not been back. 

Where are you YB?

What happened YB?

I tweeted the link that day. August 11. Thought Twitter is only for humans. Are birds listening to tweets? Did YB take off as a result?  Screenshot of my Thursday August 11th tweet

And since that week Yellow Bird has not returned to our yard. Have there been sightings?

Maybe.

Paul, Liam and I are out for a walk along the Tully Park border. I think I see YB. I see a flash of yellow "Yellow Bird," I yell. The boys look up. Nothing. No yellow. No movement. Stillness in the trees. Sun glancing off a flying leaf? They light up yellow for a moment. And then flip dark.
Maybe.
No YB

I am outside in the backyard. I hear the evocative 'keet cheep. YB!  I circle the yard. I hear it again. Oh, I get it. The window is open. It is Kristin.

KRISTIN TALKS

She talks to the outdoor birds...and she is loud.
No YB.

Now a few weeks have passed since the last YB visit.

My tweet to Yellow Bird
Hope to see you before the cold. And if not our wish is that you have been captured and are back at home.
Or your outside life is free and safe and you are heading south

For now Liam has his wolf sibling to groom and cuddle

LIAM HAS HIS STANDBY SIBLING

Woof Woof

Yellow Bird

LOOKING FOR MY SIBLING

A new sibling for Liam? At one time Liam had 5 sibs. Parakeets. Or 'keets. Kaysar, Killian, Kristin, Kelly, Kevin (a few named after some of the newbies)
The sole survivor is Kristin. She is thriving.  Did not expect that.

KRISTIN

After her boyfriend Kaysar died on May 31 I expected her to retreat into mourning. Parakeets are lovebirds. She is not grieving. Why is she happy?

Well maybe for these reasons 

She has her own room, a sort of dining room we never use.

Two windows have a view of the backyard and side

She can see and hear the birds and chimes in with their talk

And maybe Kaysar was too loving. He really would not leave her alone.

Kristin, the sole survivor, is doing just fine 

KRISTIN IN PROFILE

We have a fountain in the corner of the backyard and I share her parakeet seed with the wild birds. So there is a gathering area. The parakeet seed seems to only attract acceptable birds, sparrows and even desirable birds cardinals, doves, robins, red headed finches, cowbirds.

The undesirables, starlings, pigeons and mockingbirds do not join in.

And a few weeks ago a yellow parakeet shows up. A Lutino. The albino parakeet. I know all about lutinos

YELLOW BIRD

While a teenager living at home, I joyfully raised, taught and played with the best Lutino of all pets, Kerry. I taught him to talk. Some famous phrases were Shut Up, Stupid, Kill Kerry.  Hey I was an adolescent and thought all three were hilarious, especially when my mother walked by the cage and Kerry gifted her with his chatter. Kerry ate with us. Slurped spaghetti and munched Cheerios.
Shared my Cheezit addiction. Would wiggle into the box to retrieve them.
See the link for lutino info

http://pets.thenest.com/lutino-parakeet-7871.html

I don't know if Yellow Bird is boy or girl. The nose (cere) is how you tell and in lutinos the color for both genders is brownish. I will use the pronoun "he" one less letter to type

IN OUR DOGWOOD OVERLOOKING THE FEEDING AREA

My reaction...capture.
I hear Yellow Bird before I see him. He swoops into the yard and perches on the back fence. Kristin hears him and screeches that exuberant parakeet cheep. I grab a towel and run to my bird feeding area, plop on the bench and wait...wait for what? No wild bird will descend from the hovering dogwood while I am below. But I think yellow bird must be tame and maybe will jump on my finger. I swing my head back and talk "parakeet." Yellow Bird stays put.

ARE YOU TALKING TO ME?

Why is yellow bird on the loose?
I think someone left his cage open. Or someone let him out. Should I put up flyers? I dismiss the thought. I don't have him, yet. And what if an imposter pet parent shows?

Can escaped 'keets survive? 

Yes
In temperate weather with access to seeds, bugs, water and acceptance of other birds. 

Yellow Bird has all of the above.
For now.
So far okay. Better outside than in a cage.
For now. 

Liam is ambivalent about another sib. But he does hang in the bird area. Even showing his exuberant rollover. Is he thinking of a sib? Looking at him up in the tree?

COME AND PLAY YELLOW BIRD

I SEE YOU UP IN THE TREE

I'LL JUST WAIT HERE FOR YELLOW BIRD

Plan #1
Use Kristin to lure Yellow Bird to the cage and pounce.
I will bring out a caged Kristin and see if Yellow Bird tries to join her. As he kisses her through the bars I will drop a towel and open the front door and push Yellow Bird in.

Not sure if that would work now. Yellow Bird has assimilated into the sparrow group. And more recently other birds have flocked around the birdbath and the seed area. There is a gang. They hang in Tully Park across the street. But a few times each day the gang visits.

THE 'KEET GANG FEEDING

Plan #2
Use a butterfly net, approach from neighbor's yard, side or back or hide in our tree border...for as long as it takes...whip out net and cover yellow bird

ON LEFT OF THE TWO DARK BIRDS,  BATHING BIRD ABOVE

YELLOW BIRD WITH SPARROWS

LAST TO GO

Yellow Bird is the last to leave probably having been used to human contact...he still does take off. And sits calmly up in the tree, while Liam rests beneath

AT THE CENTER OF THE PHOTO

I will try my capture plans when the weather turns cool. 

What do you think readers?

Is it kinder to allow Yellow Bird to live a short but free life?

Or save him for a long caged life?

Thoughts? Should Liam get a sibling?
and should Kristin have a companion?

LIAM WAITING

Woof, woof

Miracle Grow

WATCHING THE FRUIT AND VEGETABLES GROW

We have vegetables, herbs and a fruit. In our yard.

This is how they got here. Paul retired in December. He is not an activity person. Meaning he was probably not going to go and join groups and take classes and attend lectures....or volunteer
The winter months proved my prescience to be correct. As spring neared I had an idea that we could grow some vegetables, herbs, fruit (tomatoes) I thought Paul would like it because he is a cook...Chef Paul we call him...loves chopping and trying recipes. He is a fan of Chef Lydia Bastianich. Lydia has a garden in back of her mother's house in Queens. Lydia says she and her mom go out each morning to see what is going on in the garden. Changes occur overnight. Good and bad. All the produce from her mother's garden is used on Lydia's cooking show
http://lidiasitaly.com/

My prior growing attempts have been less than stellar. Long Island soil is sandy, perfect for wine and potatoes. Our yard had massive tree roots all over and little sun. But with the loss of several tall oaks we now have sun. We have a lot of clay pots used for flowers. I figured we'd buy the plants, pour the soil in the pots and hope something happened. I actually said "It's all about the journey, not the end."

THE GREAT LAWN, SANDY WITH TREE ROOTS

And it is working...we have several pepper plants. and we eat the peppers from them.

All plants producing. Eggplants, red peppers (green now) cherry tomatoes, yellow peppers, cayenne peppers, just starting to turn red

One is scary. The eggplant. I believe it is curving towards the house and will soon enter. 

EGGPLANTS

And the peppers are also a bit crazy. Curling every way...the basil grew so high I have to keep cutting it back.
Cherry tomatoes rest on the fir tree, no cage

FIR PROVIDES SUPPORT FOR CHERRY TOMATOES

We are obsessed with our little garden.  I measure the eggplants. Paul and I examine each plant. We have an activity! All three of us.

Paul has used the peppers in his cooking. And basil, fresh and cooked. The cherry tomatoes don't make it into any dish. We eat them right away.

We have a sustainable life .We can live off the land! Ha! Hardly. But it is exciting. We only water those plants living in pots. We do not believe in wasting water on a lawn.  I water with a jug.

We have not used the hose once. Liam hates water. The color and condition of the lawn reflect its treatment. We have hay. Liam loves the spiky grass on his back in his rollovers.

SPIKEY GRASS

COLLAGE OF PEPPER PRODUCE

and no rabbits come by. Remember Liam is a rabbit killer.
If you need a rabbit story refresher. Here
http://liamlicks.blogspot.com/search/label/Rabbit%20killer?m=1

IS THAT A RABBIT?

This activity has been a success.
Next activity for Paul, yoga

Woof, Woof