The US Open seems like a bridge connecting summer to fall. Often the first week has heat, humidity, showers, lightning and slidey courts wet from storms. The second week is clear, cool, sometimes an unexpected chilly rain. Wind whips the flags and slows servesLabor Day play at the Open links the two seasons. This year we attend during the second week, Wednesday September 4, a brilliantly clear "hurt the eyes sky" reminiscent of 9/11. A stark clarity seldom experienced in summer. The Manhattan skyline is visible from the upper levels and is pierced by the Freedom Tower on the left and Empire State Building to the right.
SKYLINE, FREEDOM TOWER AND EMPIRE STATE
For me, summer has three beginnings and one ending.
Beginnings
Memorial Day Weekend...barbecues, beach, vacation trips
Summer Solstice... calendar summer lots of Namaste and sun salutations all over.
July 4th...An all clear for teachers, some of whom might still be working the last few days of June.
LIAM CHECKING BARBECUE IN NEIGHBOR'S YARD
Ending
Labor Day Weekend
The Labor Day weekend gives us three days to transition, even includes
an August day softening the blow of September's Sunday arrival. A few distant fireworks have Liam thundershirted on Labor Day evening.
Liam doing some "last" of summer rituals. Stoop SittingAt summer's end the sun slants strong and hot in the late afternoon and Liam soaks it up while watching the wildlife parade.
Exploring for rabbit and squirrel scents Saying goodbye to his summer season doggie friend Checking for birdseed This all happens in this corner of the back yard.
Other Signs and Happenings of transition to Fall
Health Club posts "Fall and Winter hours"
Citronella candles disappear from yard
I store my citronella candles in the recyclable bucket. Paul does not notice and puts them out on the curb with the wine bottles, tomato jars and yogurt cups. They are gone.
The bug zapper has ceased its zapping.
Body count zero.
We are headed in a new direction. Liam knows.
We incrementally change focus from outside to in.
I sense him next to me. He has a way of appearing and quickly putting himself in your space. This time I am a "sitting duck." His face in my side view.I am on one of a pair of hand -levered bikes with flat snow-shoe pedals. It is part of my routine workout and he knows it. He is a health club lounger. Lounger uses the club to shoot the breeze, talk about himself, watch TV, listen to music...oh and exercise, every now and then. He will do a few stationary weight machines in a jerky incorrect manner. He will pick ones next to other gym members so he can insert himself in your book, your TV gaze, your mood. Sometimes he fast-walks through the weight lifting area, then stops and bounces on the balls of his feet near the entrance to the rest rooms. He hangs over the check-in area until the young woman manning it wants to hide on the floor.
WHERE ARE YOU? WANTED TO ASK WHAT'S NEW?
Questions he has asked over time...
What does this machine do for you?
What book are you reading (harder to discern now with Kindles)
SOUNDS LIKE A DELICIOUS READ
Do you belong to a library?
Would I be able to borrow books from your branch?
I have answered these questions with various degrees of annoyance and my answers have led to conversations. I always regret having fallen into his trap because it will lead to another question. He feels entitled. I have given him permission because I engage. I've got him under my sweaty skin and I have given him power. Today he goes too far with his question. How would he know that this question is the tipping point? He doesn't. He asksthat question. What's new? What's new?Is he serious? He does not have the right to ask such a personal question!! He has asked the very worst question.
I feel a rage surge up quickly and know it is disproportionate to the question. I know why. The asker assumes familiarity. He has trapped me on the bike. I am now on the offensive. If I say nothing is new, does that make me boring?
NOTHING NEW? YAWN...BORING PERSON
I always want to be interesting. But interesting to the gym stalker? Really...Who cares? Is his "What's new?" meant as a greeting and I can answer, "I am fine, thank you." Now go away, you pest
I have the regressive urge to shout back the old retorts "New York, New Jersey"
I answer with a profundity that gives his question more gravitas than I'm sure he intended. I pause and reply "I don't know how to answer that question. I am here at the health club doing my routine. I am pleased that I am able to work out." As it is coming out of my mouth I know this is an unexpected answer. And possibly provocative.
Not put off at all but encouraged to share, he responds "I know. I could be disabled. I could have had my limbs severed. My leg cut off. One arm. I am whole. I am able to work out, to chat, be active. I am so fortunate to be physically together."
What the heck kind of answer is that? I have struck something in him, but not what I intended. Too much info. Yikes! Severed limbs, disability. Oh no... How nutty a response is his? Or is it perfectly attuned to my response? I get up from the bike. He stands there, watching me leave
At home, I search the Internet for the right answer to the "what's new" question. And the answers depend on who is asking and what you want to accomplish in your reply. Links follow.
Answers for work http://www.refresher.com/asrhnew.html
Answers for social situations http://www.thefrisky.com/2009-12-05/how-to-answer-the-dreaded-small-talk-question-whats-new/
I read these. Good advice. However, not for my situation. This stalker/part time exerciser is different. I don't want an ongoing relationship. I desire at the most, hello, goodbye. I don't want to know how to answer his "what's new" question. I want the question not to be asked. What follow are some of my ideas for "what's new" replies and hopefully conversation stoppers.
Q-What's new? A-Nothing. Q-What's new? A-New York, New Jersey Q-What's new? A-Cannot hear you, point to hearing aids or remove them. I like this one. It has props to go with the answer Q Liam, What's new? A-the following video
It is Thursday, August 1, 2013, Liam's 6th birthday. His blog is mostly done. It is LiamLicks blog story publication night. Our piece is a celebration of Liam presented in a Facebook social media manner. I have yoga class, then a Starbucks meeting with a
dear friend.
Yoga Class- an active session. After class I somehow work in that today is Liam's birthday and bask in the offered birthday wishes. I feel muscle pain which affords hope of increased
flexibility and less anxiety. My head is in a Namaste like place. I arrive home and Liam is roaming the
lower floor. I notice his food is untouched. Not unusual
He sometimes
lets it sit all day. A quick wardrobe tweak and I leave for my coffee
date. A glance back shows Liam wedged between the coffee table and couch. Not unusual.
Coffee meet is satisfying; always is when good friends catch up. We topic out (after a long relaxed time) and wind up. I return home. Liam does not greet me. His arrival hello is not always immediate. Not unusual.
After 5 minutes of not hearing his
tags jingle, I go looking. Must be upstairs. I find him curled in a
catlike ball, top of the bed, pillow under his head. Not his routine. He is a bottom of the bed dog. Seems more like a hiding place. He edges away from me
as I try to touch him. I let him be, he is not a huggy dog. I feel a vague worry. I walk
across the landing to my writing room. He follows in a bit and positions
himself in the chair, head hidden.
LIAM HIDING IN HOUNDSTOOTH
Not
his routine. Unusual.
He always watches me as I sit at the PC, especially Thursdays when our blog is due. He is hiding. I sit at the PC, tighten up
our blog story, arrange the pix, edit, cut...all this takes time,
hours. Liam never moves or barks. The afternoon ebbs to evening and Paul
arrives home. No Liam bark to announce Paul, no Liam leaping from the chair. Liam
and I both stay put upstairs. I am working on the blog, Liam nesting. Unusual.
LiamLicks is ready for Paul proofing. I
make a few of his suggested changes and we publish on all the venues. Takes
more time. Now it is about 8:30 and time to toast our literary success. The
usual routine. Yes, we do this every Thursday upon publication as if we
have a new best seller. The tradition...wine is poured. Liam sits between us. Cheers to
another successful blog launch, Clink. We wait for the reviews to roll in.
I keep my devices out to view the responses and reply. If I am too wine happy I wait until Friday to answer. Our family of three watches Big Brother (summer) then Project Runway; Liam
hoping for a Project Runway Swatch sighting. Swatch is the resident dog
at the fabric store Mood.
That's the usual.
That's the routine.
NO DOGS ON BIG BROTHER BUT SWATCH IS ON PROJECT RUNWAY
Not tonight. No Liam. He is on top of the stairs on the landing, looking down. Not his routine. He is sitting, trying to figure out how to get down the stairs. Unusual.
Liam is not joining; Paul says he must join the family. Calls him to come
down. Liam sort of tumbles and misses a few steps. He seems groggy.
Something
is not right with the birthday boy. The night goes by and Liam
stays
in his chair, no barking, no sighs, not moving.
We both check during the
night to see if he is breathing. Friday morning August 2, Liam in chair, Paul heads
out to work. I head out to retiree activities. I return to find Liam resting.
Not
routine. Unusual.
I attempt to touch him and he gets up and moves towards the
stairs. Liam wants to be alone. Oh no. I have heard when dogs are not
well they isolate themselves. He cannot go up. His back legs seem
locked. He drags himself up with his front legs.
I watch. That's it! Enough. No barking, no eating, hiding from me! And I have documented 4 or more unusuals. Too many.
Scary. I call our vet who takes us right away. Turns out the leaping,
running, rolling Liam has damaged a disc. A shot and a prescription.
The Doc is McDreamy. I am fascinated grateful and want to work there. I can assist this wonderful man. I find myself babbling about Liam and his habits hoping to sound like a good dog mother. A shot on the spot for Liam, pills for home. Within an hour Liam is himself. A few
barks, a little food. Rimadyl. A miracle drug. Doctor McDreamy promises to
call Saturday to see how Liam is doing. I find myself looking forward to this call. And most people know I hate phone calls.
Not this time. Maybe he'll do FaceTime on iPad. No we did not set up for that. Doctor Mc does call early. I report all is fine, I thank often. I hear my obsequious tone in my responses.
Liam's 6th birthday, quite a marker in his life.
Today marks (the doctor's name is Mark) 3 weeks since theunusuals.
Liam is back to Starbucks latte licking, leaping and running. Still taking Rimadyl. It says canine on the bottle. Too bad. My back could use a little relief. Sure fixed Liam up.
Here is a little clip showing Liam enjoying some licks. An activity he eschewed while hurting.
Routine is back. The Usual.
Woof, Woof
An update to our 7/18/13 blog story Wine in Paper...exciting... my wine store now has reusable wine carriers ...Can one blog story change the world? Yes!!!! see pic. BTW I know it might be a coincidence but then again, maybe not. Makes a good story and that is what we are about.
Today, August
1, 2013, Liam's 6th birthday. He has left behind most puppy ways,
except for loving licking. Good, as his eponymous blog would have
to have an asterisk. Liam leaps, and runs just as high and fast as he
did when we first brought him home from NSAL on 1/01/08. He often
appears on my FB page as well as on many other social media sites.
If he had his own Facebook page it would read like this...
ABOUT Works at blogger. Writing LiamLicks. Studied at Best in Show Pet Resort, Spring 2009. Basic Canine Commands, Graduated. Currently lives New Hyde Park NY Hometown Tennessee by way of North Shore Animal League, Port Washington
Born
August 1, 2007 in Tennessee
heritage one quarter equal parts Dachshund, Dalmatian, Beagle and Irish setter
rollin' in the deep
Likesrest doga
perching on couch
Dislikes Thunderstorms, water, toaster, fireworks
NEED A FRIEND IN A STORM
THUNDERSHIRT AND WOLFIE
IS THE STORM GONE?
Books Underwater DOGS
LIAM'S GIFT BOOK MARK
Liam reads about water but will not go near it. No lab in him.
LIAM HAS WHAT HE NEEDS FOR A COUCH SIT
TV Project Runway...fan of Swatch, the resident dog at Mood (the fabric store in NYC)
Places Spa in the Woods, Northport, Long Island, Lake House at Lake Hopatcong, New Jersey
Astrological sign.
Leo. Likes to be in the center. basking... a Sun sign. He seeks the
stage, goes to the action and becomes the show. No one minds. Liam is a star. Next two photos are at Best In Show Pet
Resort at play group yesterday, July 31
LIAM, THE LEO, FINDS THE CAMERA
IS A TILT OF THE HEAD A BETTER LOOK?
A shout out to fellow August 1 birthday Leo, that crazy NYC weather guy! http://nycweatherguy.blogspot.com/
You say it's your birthday, enjoy this video
Happy Birthday Kevin, Cheers
LATTE CHEERS
We will be on a stay vacay the next two Thursdays making new stories. We plan to return with a new LL on Thursday, August 22, 2013.
Will miss our readers.
Please come back.
Until then, catch up on your LiamLicks and share with others.
Leave it.
One of the basic canine training commands. Liam has not learned it. He leaves it when he wants and where he wants.
I leave it also. Though without a command. I have written about losing items and how often they are found and
returned to me. My understanding has evolved and I now believe that there are two ways of being separated from one's
belongings. Leaving and losing. I am now revising my take on some of my
losings. I am renaming them leavings. There is a TV show The Biggest Loser. I am the Biggest Leaver. Leave it.
Losing, leaving. What is the difference?
DID LIAM LEAVE HIS BONE OR LOSE IT?
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/lose there are 12 definitions. mine for this story would be this one "to miss from one's possession."
the
losings occur when I do not know where the item might be, or I have
several possibilities, or I have not noticed it being gone for a very
long time and then there is no hope of finding or no longer any desire
to expend the effort.
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/leave
to
fail to include or take along... this is my definition of leaving. you
left it, you know where it is and you can go back to retrieve it as long
as someone else has not yet taken it.
LIAM KNOWS WHERE HE LEFT IT
Examples
My Leavings
I have categorized them in place left, because there are multiple
leavings at places. This is what might distinguish them from the
losings. perhaps a subconscious intent to return or a feeling of safety
or a test of loyalty for those who find my item?
Crabtree's
my shawl spent a week at Crabtree's until I realized I
had not seen it. I went in and there it was. In fact over the years I
have left many items at Crabtree's- they just pull out a drawer and let
me take my belongings. Free storage.
Twin Park Fitness
Kindle, workout gloves, water bottle, necklace, cold weather gloves
Library
sunglasses, umbrella, tote bag (empty) Starbucks reusable hot cup
The
places where I have left items are those I frequent. I feel comfortable
and safe. I am there often, am known and stay a while. People at my
places have suggested that I want to leave a piece behind to return. To
ensure I have to go back. I am rewarded as my belongings are always there
waiting or put away for me. Many thank yous are exchanged, connections
renewed and everyone feels better.
LIAM LOOKS FOR HIS BONE
GOT IT, A LEAVING
NOT A LOSING
My Losings
I have categorized the losings by item as the listing of a place does not work as with most items the place is unknown or one of a few possible venues.
Sunglasses
somewhere in Manhattan in April 2013- these were not the $7 NYC street
ones I love but very expensive from my esteemed Old Westbury
optometrist.
Watch no idea...has been missing several times- the car washing person finds it between the seats...this time seems really gone
Bracelet
June 2008 picked it up the morning of my 40th High School Reunion in
June 2008. Did not think of it until my 45th Reunion this June. Gone.
Not
much is lost, much more left, though I place earrings in another group.
I believe one has to expect to lose earrings. So the loss is just
regrouping not losing. I couple up two mismatched earrings. I act
as if I am quirky and artsy. Also abandoning an earring because it does
not have a mate seems cruel. The singles hang on a row on my earring tree to be plucked for use when needed. At times I wear 4 different ones.
If you want to change a behavior you will. Someone says that, probably Doctor Phil. So how to change my leavings as
those are frequent. Probably doing the same in reverse as I do
when I leave the house. I have a post-it on the door of all items I need
to have and I check it. I should have an identical post-it in my bag and count off the items before returning home. Do I
have my Kindle, sunglasses, shawl, gloves, etc? The items I had when I left the house.
LIAM LEFT WITH HIS BONE, SHORT LIST
I could do that.
could or would
can or will
If you are getting something more from the behavior than the anxiety of it
then you will keep doing it.
Must be Dr. Phil again
Leave it?
Do I like leaving it?
What does it give me?
LIAM FEELS SAFE LEAVING HIS BONE, FEELS GOOD TO GET IT BACK
I don't understand why wine purchases are bagged in plastic, you know, the ubiquitous black with gold stripes. Liquor purchases such as vodka are placed in paper bags. I am sure there is a reason for this. I googled "why is wine placed in plastic bags?" and was offered a multitude of ways to purchase thousands of plastic wine carriers at wholesale as well as a surprisingly creative selection of plastic wine holders for private events. I now know I can order online and add to the plastic bag universe; ironic when what I am seeking is to stop increasing the universe. When did the proliferation of plastic bags begin? Did it happen right in 1967 with the release of the movie The Graduate? Plastics. One word spoken to Dustin Hoffman inhabiting the character of Ben. A prescient promise of a successful future delivered in one word. See clip following. Plastics. Plastic in the form of bags. Untouched they hang on forever. Let's leave the zip locks out of this. I am nuts for them. My current target is only plastic wine bags...they are not an appropriate shape for anything but a bottle and who would want to reuse them for anything, even too narrow for a Liam poop bag. I am nursing a dislike of these bags.This negativity affects my otherwise exuberant feeling when perusing the wine aisles in my local wine and liquor store. I've come to dread the plastic bag pulling from under the counter. One day I decide to ask for paper for my wine purchase. I have 4 bottles on the counter which require two plastic bags. I estimate the four will fit into one paper bag. I ask for a paper bag. Well, what a reaction! Disbelief. The stunned expression from behind the counter releases an immediate passionate defensive explanation from me as to why I want paper and not plastic.
MOM, PLASTIC WINE BAG, REALLY?
I hear myself preaching about saving the environment and doing our part for the earth. Buzz words green and "giving back" tumble out. Yes, I said that...giving back? really? Oh my! I did not mention global warming or world peace but I was close. Got my wine in paper and the little cardboard dividers were included -an extra for paper bags. This is going to be a struggle. Paper.
Week 2 This week there are two cashiers. A bagger and a credit card taker. Oh great, reinforcements have been called in for the "wine bag woman." The plastic bags are pulled out as my credit card slides through the machine. The transaction is in progress as I protest. "Wait! Sorry may I have paper?" I don't give a speech. Plastic put away reluctantly. Paper.
LIAM SMILES AT OUR HIGHLY RATED WINE
Week 3 Hopefully I will get the same person. I do and he calls over his two colleagues. They must have conferred about me. I am sort of an amusement. I do have the power. I am the customer. I am a regular and my purchases are Wine Spectator worthy (my selections are 90 pointers, at least that is what the little sign underneath says) I get the paper bag, no pleading necessary. Paper.
Week 4 I wave my bag as I enter. I have decided to save the bags in my trunk for reuse. I have both size 12s and size 20s. See the bags on the right of the carrier. BTW I received praise
at the car wash for having a neat trunk I come in armed with a bag and wave it like a flag. All salespersons are watching. Must have been a staff meeting. I am buying 4 bottles. Five employees are at the counter and must have been called out to witness the purchase. This must be a "live" training session. My Leo self preens at the attention. The staff annoyance and wariness have changed. Smiles...acceptance and maybe grudging participation?
Stages of Paper
disbelief
resistance
conference
acceptance
participation
Several weeks later our relationship shifts when my salesman suggests we switch from size 20 bag to size 12. Is he kidding? He has moved from plastics to paper and now has a preferred size we should use? Now I am the person who must adjust. He proudly demonstrates how he can fit all four bottles in the size12 bag, inserting the cardboard divider as a last flourish. A snug safe fit. Next photo shows size 20 on the left and size 12 on the right.I guess using the smaller #12 must be advantageous to the store in some way. It is a win/win because the smaller bundle with less play in the bag is easier for me to get to the car. I think we now have a partnership. The next customer in line is fascinated by this exchange. He has a bottle of vodka which merits a paper bag. I look and decide it is a #12 bag, one of mine. Is there an #8? Not sure. He says "I see you are getting your wine in a bag. I am drinking vodka. Mine goes in a bag also." I start to explain why my wine is in a bag and he interrupts "I am 60. Probably wine would keep me alive longer, but I figure I do not have that much time, maybe I'll live to 70, so I'll continue with vodka." I say "try wine and surely you will live past 70 and they say it is good for your health and ..." He is bagged and on his way out and not listening...My partners are all nodding conspiratorially. Paper. We are a team.
I hope having my wine in a paper bag helps longevity. I am older than my vodka buddy. Maybe it is only the paper...I suppose when the 12s wear out I can bring back the 20s but my salesman will not be pleased. He likes the tight fit of the #12.
MY MOM HELPS THE ENVIRONMENT, NO PLASTICS
Cheers!
Woof, Woof
*Update My wine store began carrying reusable wine bags the beginning of
August, 2013. We are all very pleased with this outcome
Labor Day play at the Open links the two seasons. This year we attend during the second week, Wednesday September 4, a brilliantly clear "hurt the eyes sky" reminiscent of 9/11. A stark clarity seldom experienced in summer. The Manhattan skyline is visible from the upper levels and is pierced by the Freedom Tower on the left and Empire State Building to the right.
At summer's end the sun slants strong and hot in the late afternoon and Liam soaks it up while watching the wildlife parade. 
This all happens in this corner of the back yard.
