Woman Cave

LIAM IN THE WOMAN CAVE

You may have heard of the term "man cave" a room, basement, garage, shed, den, where the man hangs out and may invite friends to join in- a sanctuary where he has all his "man" comfort and special interest treasures. Here is a definition
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Man_cave

there is a website for man caves pix, take a look
http://www.oddee.com/item_97008.aspx

I have a woman cave. It evolved slowly. I needed a place to sleep. I have restless leg, sleep apnea, nightmares, anxiety attacks, body temperature changes-all wrapped up in a neat package and all or some of the above present each night.  I had to find a space for myself to thrash about.

NEED A PLACE TO SLEEP

My cave is the den which is really the smaller of two back rooms in our house. Over time-several years- I have included my books, my devices, journals, my schedules. The books that inspire, remind and please me are on display on the back rim of the couch.  See next photo. I do rotate them occasionally. Liam likes the cave. He sometimes sleeps in it which makes for a very crowded couch.  Our two parakeets also live in their apartment within the cave.

PARAKEETS KAYSAR AND KRISTIN LEFT

I am never alone in there. Liam comes and goes but the birds are always in residence. Oh and yes, that TV is very old, has that big back-works fine though

LIAM WITH LIAM NEESON ON TV

 
Unlike the "man caves" shown up top the woman cave is really only mine for sleeping. It is the den in the day. And a office. It has the land-line on which we still receive messages; mostly doctor appointment reminders and hang-ups. The desk is there-that is where Paul does the bills. The den is used to watch DVR'd shows. 


Liam only uses the woman cave/den/office if  I am in it or Paul is or both of us are. Or when his namesake Liam Neeson is on Kelly and Michael.  Otherwise Liam will wait for my return as he does in the photo below. I think he knows that if my wine is there I will be back.

LIAM WAITS FOR ME

I can stay up late reading until my klonopin kicks in or wine or cumulative sleeplessness. I guess the woman cave is really a multitasker, serves several functions, not a place apart. It is only a woman cave at night, so it is part time.

Let me restate.
I have a part time woman cave. Night Time, not full time. After all most of the other rooms are mine also.  Liam's too. 

Woof, Woof

Mitzvah Marathon

I CAN HELP

I am offered the opportunity to do a favor and I accept. The day is Tuesday-it is Yom Kippur at sundown; I am thinking the favor is a Mitzvah - as in a good deed, a kindness .My good deed is to pick up my grandniece Kiera after her dance class at 1:45pm.

Concerns
I do not have a car seat.  Grandniece is three and a half (almost)
I have not picked her up before. Will I be allowed to take her?
Will Kiera go with me?
Where is the studio?
Is there parking?

LIAM LOOKING, PARKING, STUDIO?

Fixes
My sister will lend me her car with a car-seat. It is fused into her car so I must take the car with the car-seat.
I do a preliminary test run to the dance studio.
There is street parking, Meters, need quarters. have them.

WORRIED

Unresolved and worrisome
Driving an unfamiliar car
Toddler who may not want me
May not be released to me
Finding parking

Before the favor, I have two activities-the daily health club session and my weekly manicure/pedicure appointment.

NO NEED FOR GYM, RUNNING OUTSIDE

Twin Parks Health Club (gym) I arrive at the gym, turn to the back seat to grab my bag and it is not there. I have left my gym bag home. Seems my future mitzvah is causing a subconscious preoccupation. I have no time to get it. I am on a fixed schedule today. This means that I do not have sneakers. a lock, my workout gloves, or water. Rules state that one must wear sneakers, not street shoes, and lock up one's belongings, no piling items on the floor. I take the most important items out of my handbag put them in my pockets and stash my bag in a locker, unlocked. I am wearing crocs-not the ideal workout shoe-I try to pick out obscure machines to go unnoticed, while watching the door to catch anyone stealing my handbag. I make it to my finishing time without incident, but with stress, anxiety and thirst.  My unlocked handbag is still there, I pack it up again. Whew.

KEEP GOING FIXED SCHEDULE

Next stop
Lavender Nail Salon for my weekly appointment.  I transfer quarters to my pocket so that after the manicure I will not mess my lacquered nails by digging through my bag. I am done by 12:45PM.  I stand and my quarters fall through my pocket and roll under couches and equipment. Packing my pockets with my handbag contents at the gym has caused the pocket material to give way, a hole to form and my quarters to escape. They are under the nail dryers and the couch. I lay on my stomach trying to reach one. Not retrievable without heavy lifting and several people helping. I leave with only one.


I drive to my sister's house, park, get in her car, keys are in the ignition. I notice there are 4 drive gears. Four!  I pick #1. I drive down the block. This cannot be right-sounds like a jet plane. I pull over; call my sister, no answer. I start again. This time I pick #2, not better but I continue my drive. I arrive on the dance studio block and pull into a spot near the studio front door. The meter has 23 minutes-no quarter necessary-my only quarter saved. I am early. I look for clues as to how to drive this car. I find the booklet. Oh, D4 is the correct gear; I was only up to #2. I enter the studio at 1:41 to see a room full of unsmiling folks. What a grim group!  I find the only remaining seat. I ask, "How do we know when they are ready?" A reply, "they will bring them out." Just then I hear from inside  "Kiera, over here" I say "she's mine," no one looks up. I fear they think I am a kidnapper, so I take on their serious demeanor. and do not make eye contact.  Do they all know each other? The teacher brings out the children calling out for their drivers, "anyone here for Amy? anyone here for ....?  Then I see Kiera. "Come with me" I say. 

SHOULD I COME?

I am not sure she recognizes me but she comes-


Then someone calls after us- "Kiera may have brought a bag."  Oh no, is that a test? They bring out a little suitcase. I grab it and we leave. As we are walking I here metal scrapping the concrete. Oh no. Kiera has on her dance shoes. They have metal plates on them. Riverdance in the street. Guess I was supposed to open that little suitcase and put on her street shoes before we left.  I just want to get us in the car before anyone sees. Fastening the car seat belt is a challenge; at least she climbs into the seat.
I was told she would do the seat-belt herself. Not today, not with me.


We drive away.  I am in the right gear. I have the right child.

LIAM HAS HIS STUFFED BABY

She accepts me as her driver. It is done.

I put my only quarter in the meter for the next person "Pay It Forward" another mitzvah in the making.

Woof, Woof

Pooch on Pillows

LIAM HEAD ON PILLOW

How does Liam know that putting his head on a pillow will be very comfy? Does he see us do it?  I know many dogs do this. I understand that sitting on a pillow wrapped in a thundershirt is more comfortable than being shirtless on the ground. I also get that sitting on the couch beats the floor, even a carpeted one.

 PILLOWS AND KONG BONE-HEAVEN

But Liam putting his head on a pillow seems so human. I had to Google to see if others have asked or wondered about this poochie pillow penchant.  And yes, there are many questions, comments and shared stories out there on the Internet. I did find a FB page about dogs and pillows.

see link
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Dogs-Using-Pillows/217938864192
as well as a blog link
http://pittiesincity.blogspot.com/2011/01/schwang-manor-allure-of-pillows.html

In case you may think these photos are posed, they are not. We do not arrange the pillows for Liam. He finds his own pillow. Manipulates it, moves it and drapes his body over, under or into it. Liam likes all size pillows.  He has his own, in his main chair bed which has been often shown here and was illustrated in last week's RACK CANCER blog story-see link for refresher
http://liamlicks.blogspot.com/2012_09_09_archive.html
Liam uses a pillow as a prop for his head. and in a cozy corner of the couch
Maybe we humans saw dogs create a pillow of twigs and leaves for their heads thousands of years ago in the wilderness. Or did we humans invite a dog to join the pack around the campfire to rest its head on a rolled up jacket or was it a dog offering to share a pile of leaves to tired lonely travelers? We all seem to have ended up needing and loving the pillows. Pack pillow behavior?

BETTER THAN A PILE OF LEAVES

Woof, Woof

RACK CANCER

LIAM HOPING

You know the word cancer but what does the word "rack" conjure up for you? Lori Phair has written a book and entitled it "RACK CANCER: Sharing Hope"  You might remember Lori from the LiamLicks blog story from May when we did the Revlon Walk on Cinco de Mayo- refresher link here
http://liamlicks.blogspot.com/2012_05_06_archive.html

Here is her pic and the link to her FB author page so you can have a visual as you read on   
Lori Whitney Phair, Author
https://www.facebook.com/LoriWhitneyPhairRackCancerSharingHope
RACK CANCER-Its meaning should have hit me but did not. I thought of a rack-that stretching medieval thing of torture-okay I have read the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy-maybe that might fit-cancer can be torture. I confess I thought of racks, both wine and shoe. Food next-rack of lamb- Racked my brain. Yes, it is rack the brain, not wrack. I checked. I logged onto Amazon, bought the book and it flew into my Kindle. The answer was in the first chapter-I had forgotten that the slang use of "rack" can also refer to women's breasts. RACK CANCER=BREAST CANCER. The book opens with a family dinner and we learn how Lori's breast cancer came to be referred to as rack cancer. It is a charming, funny, and honest glimpse into a family dealing with difficult news and a child's ability to tame a scary unknown intruder by renaming it with a word often used in family dinner repartee. Renaming it, making it theirs.

LIAM WITH HIS THINGS OF COMFORT

My favorite book genre is the memoir and this book is that and more. There are poems, there are stories, observations and a detailed history on one woman's journey through cancer and how it affects her and changes her views. Lori has included emails from the first months after her breast cancer diagnosis. These exchanges are real time talking to friends and family so they put us in the moment with her. This book is a unique and lively compilation of a few years of a life changed forever and now lived to the fullest.  I highlighted a lot on my Kindle. I wanted to be able to look back and read parts really quick. Writers can crystallize our thoughts. Lori does. Validate an experience- Lori does that.  Give us hope-Lori does that. It is about everyday life with cancer in it but not taking over it.  Below sharing some parts-
Lori is in italics and quotation marks-probably a punctuation violation. I am interspersed (regular)

"and I will never again slam pots and pans around (and mumble under my breath "Did you have to use every pot we own?") as I clean up the kitchen after Jim cooks."
Paul cooks and cleans. After reading this passage I was determined to return to cleaning up after Paul's meals. This past Saturday I brillo'd every pan and pot, even the sink and drain. Just once so far but it is a start.

SHE LEFT ME ALONE TO BRILLO

"I saw breasts everywhere-innocent ceiling light fixtures, chocolate kisses, Friendly's happy-endings double-scoop sundaes-EVERYWHERE (I think I now know what it feels like to be a guy.)"

"I have always felt sad or angry when someone came into my life and then left. Relationships end for many different reasons. I have come to appreciate that we are drawn to certain people because we need to learn something from them."

LIAM WITH "FRIENDS ARE PRECIOUS" PILLOW

Something I have been wrestling with lately. Long term friendships, situational friendships, new friendships, renewed friendships, occasional friendships. All have a place and value. Reading Lori's take helped me better understand and appreciate people coming and going. (for more on this subject-See Life Teachers in the poem section)

and then the poems-they are easy, fast, both light and deep- here is part of a favorite of mine

The Power of Words 

Words can hurt or words can heal,

So choose them with great care.

Don't toss them out like knives or spears

That soar right through the air.

Your careless words can break a heart

Or tatter someone's soul.

Despite the fact that this was not

Your plan, intent, or goal.

So choose your words with thought and care

And THINK before you spout.

'Cause once it's said, it can't come back,

It's there once it's out..........

and to read the end of this poem and many more-
http://www.amazon.com/RACK-CANCER-Sharing-Hope-ebook/dp/B0095TWKJ6

I LIKE THE "SHILOH" POEM

Woof, Woof

Confusing

CAUGHT BETWEEN TWO SEASONS

On the Tuesday after Labor Day (Labor Day Tuesday) my cousin asks me to post a word to describe my day. I usually think such FB requests are scams but she verifies her identity by sharing a "cousin" code word, so I play and post. I pick "confusing" for my word of the day. Why? Tuesday is just plain confused about what it is-summer or fall.

Labor Day weekend ends and we plunge into fall overnight. My Starbucks http://www.starbucks.com/store/15640/offers its fall lattes to customers who are attired in tank tops and flip flops. It is a rainy/sunny day- remnants of Hurricane Isaac. Some folks wear slickers, others tank tops and  flip flops. I have all three. Confusing.

LIAM FEELS THE RAIN

The US Open tennis starts and stops. Rain threatens then takes over allowing only a few matches. Attendees are confused. Who is playing, who is not? and in which stadium?  Do we leave our seats or huddle under umbrellas and hoods?

HAVE TO HIDE FROM THE RAIN

Last week it was a summer US Open, hot and blazing, this week the US Open is in fall rainy and dark.


Some TV shows have their fall debut.  Kelly has a new co-host Michael Strahan.  The View is new. Not all shows are back. Some still on summer vacation. Confusing

School is back in session. Not for all though. The teachers are back first; the kids return today.

Autumn acorns fall, squirrels feast, Liam stalks and jumps and hangs, hoping,

 

CVS is decorated with items labeled "fall harvest" this covers now and also might extend through Halloween and Thanksgiving with some witches and turkeys inserted here and there.

A beautiful fall mural at my Starbucks done by one of the many gifted staff members.

Confusing. My word of Tuesday.

In a good mixed up way. Happy/summer/fall.

LIAM IN THUNDERSHIRT THIS WEEK

Woof, Woof

No Buzz

LIAM LISTENING FOR BUZZ

There is no buzz. There used to be. When I was a kid living in our 3rd floor apartment in Pomonok Houses in Queens, NY there was a buzz. It came on summer nights. It was the sound of mosquitoes buzzing around my head. We did not have screens on the windows. They would find me and circle for a feast. I pulled the covers over my head to hide from the buzzing bugs.

PULL UP THE COVERS

We did not have air conditioning; it got very hot quickly. Usually the mosquitoes got what they wanted, leaving gorged with my blood.


Now we have screens and air conditioning. We live in a house with a yard. I had always dreamed of a yard.  Of sitting outside with my dog. I have that yard and I have a dog, Liam.

LIAM OUTSIDE NEXT TO ME

The mosquitoes are also outside. Screened out. They are not like the ones in our growing-up apartment. These make no buzz. They bite so quickly and so often that one trip outside and I have multiple bites. These bites are not like the childhood bites. I don't know that I have been bitten until suddenly an unbearable itchy sensation compels me to scratch until the welts appear. These bites remain sensitive and keep their shape and itch producing sensation for days. These are not the mosquitoes of the 1950's and 1960's. Who are these new creatures? They also can make one sick because some have West Nile virus. People now die from infected mosquitoes. see link
http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/story/2012-08-28/west-nile-virus-cases-increase/57402754/1

Battle Plan

1-Cover up- long sleeves, socks, gloves, hat.

2-Insect repellent-parts like face, hands, ears should be sprayed with repellent. I even spray my hair.

3-Citronella bracelets-wear them around wrists, ankles

CHECKING THE BIRD BATH

4-Standing water - empty bird baths, flower containers, tops of garbage cans

Results

1-Covering up- proves too hot. July is the hottest month in history. 

2-Insect repellent- takes off my nail polish. If Liam licks me, he may be poisoned. The universal remedy "Skin So Soft" from Avon. gives me hives or a rash or something in between. Takes 3 weeks to go away.

WE HAVE TO STAY INSIDE

3-Citronella bracelets- works on the wrist and ankle - all else is unprotected and fair game.

4-Standing water- maybe would be better to leave it to attract the bugs as a trap? 

A SITTING LIAM

I take a chance on Tuesday.  I sit down with a latte. There is a slight breeze.  Liam sits and rolls. I take pix.

A RARE ROLL THIS SUMMER

GO AWAY MOSQUITOES

A brief sit. We hear the gardeners approaching, Tuesday is their day and we have to retreat. No bites though. First time in two months


Is it the wind, the latte or the gardeners that stop the bites?  Or all three.  Maybe those Pomonok mosquitoes from childhood.
We tend to be nostalgic about the "olden days" never thought it would include the "olden mosquitoes"

THEY CANNOT GET ME HERE

Woof, Woof

Broken

IT'S HOT AND EVERYTHING IS BREAKING

This was the summer of breaking. Here is a Timeline of the items in chronological order.
Broken:

The PC- May 27-August 13
Cause-Malware-self-inflicted. A slow painful death. First my credit card, then my hard drive. Yes. I did it. Me, who does not click on forwards, is hyper sensitive about links, never has fallen for a scam, doesn't re-post, does not forward those little icon people who are running for causes, does not sign online petitions- you get the idea.  I was an untouchable. A virtual virus/malware snob. Well I was knocked off my pedestal, actually leaped off- a fake security shield got me-see link-as mortified as I am I do not want anyone to go through this, so I am admitting it
http://blogs.norman.com/2012/for-consumption/norman-declares-war-on-security-shield-a-fake-antivirus-software

LIAM WEARING THUNDERSHIRT TO RELIEVE MY ANXIETY

Tooth- July 7
Cause-aggressive flossing- laminate pops off exposing my real tooth, now just a filed down spike- yes, like a vampire, really attractive.

Fix-dentist re-glues
August 6- half of laminate comes off same tooth.
Cause- yogurt. Really. Okay, there were a few almonds in the mix.

Fix- Dentist puts on a temp, orders a new laminate.
August 13- temp comes off
Cause -the everything bagel, about 10 hours old, beyond chewy. A masochistic hedonist act.

Fix-I fashion a piece of beige trident gum over the spike tooth so as not to offend onlookers and to protect my tongue from getting impaled on it.
August 16- new laminate glued on 

I CAN SEE FINE AND HAVE PERFECT TEETH

Toe-July 8
Causes- dark room, roller on bottom of bed, sandals, Liam, wine. I had a glass of wine (or two) ran after Liam (we were playing) he jumped on the bed, I smashed foot into roller on bed frame while attempting to leap onto bed (sort of like a vault in gymnastics)  my score-0.0000

Fix- taping broken toe to buddy toe and waiting six weeks-which is right now

NO PLAYING UPSTAIRS FOR NOW

Eyes-July 28
Cause-left contact fell into sink, temporarily lost, found the next morning -sort of dry. I re-hydrate it, clean and disinfect it overnight. Next day I insert it. After an uncomfortable day of scratchy eye, the white part turns bloody red. The right  joins in sympathy and swells up.

Fix-no contact lens wearing, eye drops, new contacts

THUNDERSHIRT NEEDED FOR THIS EPISODE

Some of the hours and days of Paul's two week stay-vacay were taken up with fixing and restoring my broken parts. I consider the PC mine since I am its only user most times. So that was a broken part of me also. These repairs and injuries impacted adversely on Paul's time off.  Everything coalesced into resolution and restoration during the last days of his vacation thanks to doctors and an expert PC consultant (referral available)  I was whole again.

Paul returned to work to recuperate.
I went to The Spa in the Woods to recuperate-our 5th annual gathering-SSA workers and retirees. The Spa is our name for the Northport home of one of our group.  Next photo is the pool out back. Tranquility.

 

 Liam attended the first 3 years.

ILLUSTRATION OF LIAM'S CAR RIDE POSITION

Due to his refusal to submit to seat belt restraints during the car ride he now has to remain home. The only position he will take is between the two front seats. This has proven to be dangerous as he slips off, usually head first,into the control panel.  However we have a Liam substitute

 who attends and at various times has fooled every
one of us into thinking he is real.   

Which is the real Liam?

Woof. Woof