Tattoo Tribute

THIS IS THE PLACE

This story is the second part of my Barb tribute and blog grief process. Part one is my blog story of January 11th, scroll down if you missed it. Loving sharing it.
Now the tattoo. I have a Barb photo from several years ago taken at the Philadelphia Flower show. A monarch butterfly landed on her head, at the top of her fabulous reddish perfumed curly hair  He stayed for a bit. See upper left...the butterfly settled in...

I thought that's it! A butterfly tattoo to remind me of her in this delightful photo.
And I'll add in my signature semicolon theme for my sigmoid colectomy.
http://www.birminghambowelclinic.co.uk/treatments-sigmoid-colectomy/
and the semicolon project. Cover all my events at once.
http://www.upworthy.com/have-you-seen-anyone-with-a-semicolon-tattoo-heres-what-its-about

I found a semicolon butterfly on Pinterest (there were many) and made the appt.at
https://kingsavetattoo.com/

I did my usual research. I knew the pain level areas and have not had a problem with the pain with previous tattoos. Here are the tattoo pain areas on the map. I had planned to have it done on the inside of my forearm but read a few comments about that area being highly sensitive. Does not indicate it to be so on the map but I switched to the outside as a result of my reading.
My assigned artist, Will, did airdrop between our iPhones to pop the photo from my phone to his. He printed the photo and showed me the stencil he made. I asked that the wings be facing away. He flipped it. Perfect. Once the stencil is transferred to your body part you are asked to observe it in the mirror before proceeding with the etching. Looks good. Cool. Exactly what I want.
What I did not notice or realize was that the mirror reversed the picture. No problem for the butterfly. He can be in any position. But my semicolon was now reversed. See below. I did not see it at the shop. I was in tattoo glory-land.
It was later when I removed the bandage for my first look that I saw the reversal. The period on top of the comma is fine...a dot is a dot..but my comma curves right not left. Whoops. See photo of my completed tattoo

SEMICOLON REVERSED

I have a mirror image. What is that? An image that is reversed from left to right, as it would appear if seen in a mirror; a reflection.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mirror_image

And it was permanent. I sort of was in a bit of shock. Probably most folks would not notice the semicolon at the base of the butterfly. Don't bring attention to it. I had to though. I thought how dopey I had been...and thinking of dopey, remembered Barb and I had fave words. Dopey was one. Not too mean, a bit affectionate. Not to be taken harshly in judgment. And I had done a dopey move. I have a reversed semicolon on my butterfly tattoo. And there is nothing I can do about it.

Here I am trying to show how I made this mistake. The semicolon is correct in the mirror. I sorta think it is quirky and charming.  More Barb/Carol fave words.

Only took a little bit of time to accept the tattoo. It is unique and my creation. I smile when I think of  Barb. That's what I wanted. I have my semicolon butterfly mirror image tattoo.
Dopey.
Maybe it will become a trend.

Woof, Woof

Love, Aunt Barb

WHERE IS MY AUNT BARB?

A few weeks of nothing. The absence of her presence resounding... emails unanswered, No Thanksgiving cards. Never ever happens. We don't usually text. Not our way. Barb did not have a smart phone until recently. Worried.

I texted Sunday Nov 26 
Me 
How are u? Thinking of you
Hope ur Thanksgiving was a happy one  
She answered Monday Nov 27
Barb 
How do you always know when something is wrong? Have been in the hospital with endocarditis for two weeks as of last Sat. Am better.

Me
I felt it...we are connected
And there was no word from u
Glad to hear you are better
 
Barb
Thanks. We are connected. Hope your holiday was great.

Me
It was a good one
Thank you 🙏🏻

On Thursday Nov 30
Barb slipped into an on and off coma
sudden and unexpected complications
too many for her to overcome
She died Friday Dec 1

The services took place 10 days later  See where she was
 http://www.torregrossafuneralhome.com/book-of-memories/3363429/Mingoia-Barbara/view-condolences.php

We wrote
Condolence From: Carol McNiff

As I get ready to face the world each day you are with me at each step In the prep. The products, the jewelry, the accessories, the thriving plants, treasured decor...all from you.
I have been rereading our emails, numbering in the thousands, hearing your voice and mine in return, like we are chatting. Wow, what we shared! And such strong and honest opinions about TV shows, politics, books, events, fashion, people. I am up to Dec 2016 and smiling as I read about what we thought of Top Chef. The new season started Thursday and it is the first time I did not have a follow up email from you in my inbox.
You were a LiamLicks loyalist...reading every blog story and providing loving Barb feedback.
Miss you every minute of every day. Thank you for enhancing my life.
Love always is how you signed each card. Love always back, Carol

Saturday December 09, 2017

Condolence From: Liam McNiff

Aunt Barb,


Mom told me you left us. I am sad. You were the best Aunt I could have had. Thank you for the cards, emails, yummy gifts. We use one of the tins you sent for my treats, We think of you whenever I bark for more, which is often.

Mom sent an Alex and Ani bracelet to you which you will never get to wear. Don’t worry it is your royal purple not the hated peridot. She is wearing its twin and will never take it off. Another company you introduced us to!

Love always,
Your nephew, Liam

Saturday December 09, 2017

I understand the stages of grief.

I know people comfort and distract themselves in various ways to get through loss. Eat too much, eat too little. Drink. Exercise. Clean. As an addictive personality I already do all those. I came up with something else. I got a cold that I have had on and off (mostly on) since Dec 16. I went to my internist to make sure my lungs were clear because I had the cough from hell. They are fine. Barb had gotten into trouble last Dec with a cold which morphed into lung clots. My internist felt sorry for me. and so did I. I knew nothing can be done for a virus. The uncommon cold which would not leave. I decided to write about Barb to distract myself.

 
1-Correspondence between Liam and his Aunt Barb
Liam and his Aunt Barb maintained a separate correspondence
here are some exchanges
Liam's comments with a peridot green background. Barb, an August Virgo, hated our birthstone. She has violet shading for her messages

Dear Liam,
Thank you so much for the lovely flowers. It was so thoughtful of you to think of sending me something for St. Joseph's day. I didn't realize that your middle name was Joseph - but now that I think about it - it seems like the perfect middle name for you. My father's name was Joseph, too.
The flowers were perfect. Your mother was smart enough to order from my favorite online flower company - ProFlowers - and they put each stem in separate tubes of water so the flowers remained fresh and vibrant.
Thanks again,
your Aunt Barbara

Oh Aunt Barb,
I am so happy. I did know that your Dad was Joseph and that you used to bring in pastries on March 19th, so I wanted to make it special for you.
Daddy Paul's middle name is Joseph but it really is not legal 'cuz it is a Confirmation name.
Glad the flowers were still good. They do a good job.
Woof
Love
Liam

Dear Liam,
I'm glad you received your gift and am happy that you enjoyed it. Too bad you had such a traumatic birthday but at least it will be memorable.
Enjoy the rest of your present and have a happy year.
Love,
A.B.

Dear Aunt Barb,
I have never received such a luscious basket, so many choices, so tasty and so addictive. I was allowed to have quite a lot since I suffered through that storm on my birthday. I was so happy and sleepy all night. This was a win win for everyone!
Mommy took a pic which she will send you so you can see what a gorgeous job they do
Love and Licks
Liam

Hi Aunt Barb,
I barked and barked when the doorbell rang. I smelled the goodies. So many yummy treats and wrapped so beautifully. I will enjoy slowly (though I know I could eat all quickly) and with fond thoughts of you. Mom plans to show it in LL this week.
Love and Licks
Liam
Dear Liam,
So glad you got your treats early so you can enjoy before all the fuss of
the holidays. I hope they taste as good as they look.
Love,
Aunt Barb

My dear nephew,
Thank you so much for the beautiful card. It is wonderful to be remembered by you. You are the only nephew who has remembered me and I sincerely appreciate you and your sweetness.
Love,
A. Barb

Subject: Birthday Gift!
Thank you so much Aunt Barb! Such perfect choices you made... Natural baked treats are what my Mom wants for me and these are soooo yummy and healthy. My teeth need some good safe plaque removers and my chew toys will take care of my 7 year old teeth of which I am so proud. Mom has included pix to show you!
And guess what? We entered the birthday pic in an Instagram contest so maybe we will win hashtag #dogust... I am there with the other doggies
Thank you!
Love and Licks
Liam

Dear Liam,

So glad you got the gift on your Bday. Thank your Mom for the great pics. Seven years looks good on you!

Subject: Cards, We Got Cards!

Thank you to Carol and Paul for your lovely card.

Thank you to my sweet Liam for your funny and wonderful card.

Love you all

Barb

Subject: For Liam

So glad you got your gift! Sorry it is a little early, but I wanted to be sure you got it on time. Still a Leo gift.

Love you, Aunt Barb

Early is great! Mommy will make it last
Liam  

AUNT BARB GIFTS

2-OUR FRIENDSHIP

 I created collages of what we shared

ENTERTAINMENT

READING

CULTURE

FOOD AND DRINK

TRAVEL

LIFESTYLE

3-AFTERWORD

Barb's nephew Liam has been supportive.
He stays with me in the den
keeping company with me and the cold that has taken up residence in my body

MISS YOU LOTS

Woof, Woof

Snow Dog No

MOM, OPEN THE DOOR

Dogs love snow. I know. I have watched them swim in it, jump, leap, roll, sit, lay. Liam is not a snow dog. He does not engage in any of these activities. Ever. We have had 4 storms this month and are currently experiencing the 5th. All have been the perfect storms. Gentle, slow, no accumulations on the roads or sidewalks. The snow provides a coating of newness and mutes the sounds for a bit. I love snow.

WHAT IS THAT?

I'LL STAY HERE

Liam knows what it is and what it feels like. His preferred place is looking at it from his couch perch...

He does not like the feeling of it on his feet.

He will not fully crouch down to do his business as he knows the wet feeling will get him from underneath
Today's snow has those dancing snowflakes which swirl around before landing. This time the snow is adhering to the concrete and roads...will require a brisk brooming not shoveling. Liam rang his poochie bells indicating the need to go out...and then he saw it, snow. oh no. He stood and then returned, see how far his pawprints took him. not even down the steps

He will try again when he cannot wait any longer. Until then he returns to snuggle and cuddle in spots in the house which do not provide a snow view.






And he knows many such places

                                                  

A CUP OF HOT CHOCOLATE, HIS PILLOW AND HE IS SET

Enjoy the snow
It is accumulating 
Woof, Woof 

A Bit Fitter

OH NO, MOM IS STEPPING AGAIN

I was away on a fall trip and I was shown the joy of fitbitting by two friends with whom we were traveling. While walking virtual fireworks exploded on their wrists when they each reached 10,000 steps. I knew I wanted my own fireworks.


I ordered my Fitbit and a day after our trip ended my Fitbit arrived from Amazon. I was a member of the Fitbit network. A world of stats, info, achievement and community.
I have a Fitbit Alta because this is the one my friend has.
https://www.amazon.com/Fitbit-Fitness-Tracker-Silver-Version/dp/B01B25PKB0?th=1
A night's sleep is recorded
Stages of Rem...light sleep, deep sleep and time awake.
This thrilled me as I have chronic sleep issues.
Messages and phone calls buzz on your arm. The Fitbit tells me to move each hour. There is a community of Fitbitters to network with.  I have discovered another world

IMAGINE!

The fitness goal is to attain 10,000 steps a day. I have no problem. My health club and home gym provide me with almost all the 10,000 steps. I go way overt it averaging 15-18000 steps daily.
Fitbit calls me names for going over.. Overachiever. What an insult.

OVERACHIEVER

There is another goal set up to help you move.  I want to meet that one also...  
One do at least 250 steps every hour.
The Fitbit buzzes at 10 minutes before the hour to tell you to move if you have not reached your hourly goal of  250 steps.

MY MOM IS IN ANOTHER WORLD

What I have Done to Achieve 250 Steps per Hour
Jumped out of the car as we waited in a line of cars at Town's Pollutant Drop-off
Excused myself at a group lunch to walk up and down the stairs
Walked the length of the NHP train platform several times while waiting for my train

MOM IS LOOKING TO USE ME FOR MORE STEPS

Stepped in place in Crabtree's bathroom
Pumped my legs while drying my nails post-manicure
Did bicycle movements of my legs while a passenger in car

These were all successful

COUCH SITTING NO LONGER APPROVED IN THIS HOUSE

The finicky Fitbit does not pick up all exercise it promises to...so....
What I have Done to Get Credit for my Exercise on Gym Equipment

Swung one arm while on the treadmill, using the other to type on my iPad...precarious
Hooked my Fitbit on the handlebars of my home row machine
Exaggerated hand motions while walking on the both gym and home treadmills
Strapped my Fitbit to the pedal of my home row machine
Stuffed my Fitbit in my sock for all machines
These have been mostly successful...still working on the sock insertion

Once a week I get a summary and Fitbit addresses me in a happy familiar way.
I like it. I think it likes me back.

I am Addicted
NO surprise. I am an overachieving addict in many activities.

I have a new reason to look forward to each day
Every hour of every day has a goal and the day goes till 12 midnight. A chance to achieve night and day even in sleep.
My days and night have meaning. I am constantly recording.

Am I a bit fitter?
I think so.
I know Liam is. I have resumed his daily walks. I accrue 2500 steps with him. If he gallops I get more credit. He takes more naps to rest from his new Fitbit schedule and is down a pound.

Wait, I have been buzzed. Must be 10 minutes before the hour
Must get some more steps in...

I NEED REST THOSE STEPS ARE EXHAUSTING

Woof, Woof