Who Are You?

HARNESSED NOT LEASHED, WILD OR TAME?

In October 2012, Pete Townshend of the band "The Who" wrote and released his autobiography titled "Who I Am."  Here is a review, if you like.
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/10/28/books/review/who-i-am-pete-townshends-memoir.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0
I thought it a nice play on the band's name as well as on their hit song-not sure which or both were intended. This idea of "who are you" used to come to me occasionally when I looked across at Paul and thought "who are you?"  Why is the stranger on my couch? When growing up in our Pomonok Queens apartment I expected my parents and my sister to be on the couch or on one of the chairs. That was the family. In my adult life I had a new person, Paul. Then five years ago another "person" joined in, Liam. Paul and I sit on the couch with Liam between us. We both pet Liam and our hands meet.  Like an electric shock we both jump! We both expect a paw and get a hand.  It occurs to me that this other family member, our son, is really an animal-a potential beast.

BEAST WITH NIGHT EYES

It has been a long road, 15,000 to 31, 000 years depending on which study you believe but Liam and other dogs are probable descendants of wolves. http://topics.nytimes.com/top/news/science/topics/dogs/index.html
Liam thinks he is a human. He has not read the article in the above link. I am sure that he sees the physical difference between us and dogs. I know this because he will always pick a human to play with over another dog. He does not like hanging with other dogs. In play group at his Best in Show Pet Hotel he always stands next to the human group leader as if he is also in charge. I think of this when I hear him snore during a TV show. He carefully places his head on a pillow in the most human like manner and curls up in my shawl to watch Revenge, Top Chef and anything on CNN.  Paul and I often ask each other "Did you set him up? Did he do that himself? Yes he did.

I look at him looking at me.  Wild dog? wolf? dingo? Who are you? Here is "The Who"

Who are you?
My mother said "He is his own person."

WHO I AM -  LIAM

Woof, Woof

Four Eyes are better than One

ARE WE SLEEPING IN TODAY?

It is the first regular January Monday of this year. I am meeting a friend at Starbucks. However, the day starts with memory remnants of a nightmare. I feel a bit off as it is an addendum nightmare to the first. I am waking later than I planned.  Liam must sense a disruption in routine and snugly wedges his head against my ankles. A comfort dog? Hmmm- for this present moment maybe. I check my cell and have a message from my sister. She reports her dog Bernie has died. I know this from my niece's text and FB post. The description is jolting. Routine veers a little more off track. While washing my hair the water turns cool then cold. I appear to have lost track of how long I have been in the shower. Ugh. I put in my contacts and I am not seeing right. Blink, blink. No change. Have I inserted them into the wrong eyes? I look at each eye and I see them there. Okay. No dropped lens issue. I bank on my condition clearing up. After this point getting ready seems to go more askew. I keep blinking to get my focus. I take along my glasses in case I need to take out my lenses at some point. Liam wraps himself in my shawl and prepares for the wait for my return. I get to the car and I have the wrong car keys. Paul's keys. Back in the house. Liam is happy- quick trip.

OH GOODIE, I THINK MOMMY IS BACK

Get my keys. My right eye is doing the watering thing and I fear bald eye-one with eye makeup and one without. I have my topics in my head, I usually write them down, in order to make sure I ask my friend about her life and that I do not repeat stories. I do not have time to do this today.

I arrive at a very crowded Starbucks. My friend is waiting. Any thought of doing a bathroom contact lens check is out as there are steady streams (sorry) of restroom users. After our meeting ends, I stop for my daily gym workout at Twin Parks health club. I head to the bathroom and try to remove my lenses-thinking switching is the answer. There is no right lens! What?! Where is it? I take out my left lens; I put on my glasses. I am four eyes. The feared taunt from childhood. The four eyes chant will never happen. Glasses are now chic and mine are fabulous- my one eye day has been corrected. I feel much better, no longer off kilter. I arrive home hoping Liam has not eaten my lens. He was lurking on the landing while I was getting ready and anything mine is his once dropped.No worries. Lens is in the sink, hardened and curled. I begin to hydrate it back to life with a few squirts of solution. My contact lenses are not the disposable type; they are $250 a lens, so this process of careful gentle restoration is necessary for financial solvency.

I don't understand

How I convinced myself I had both lenses inserted.

Why I did not check by touch, instead of just looking

How I lost a half hour in the shower

I do understand

That not writing down topics did result in my repeating of stories, talking about my stuff a lot (note to self-shut up Carol) as well as not asking enough questions.

Four eyes are better than one

That the nightmares, death, and a cold shower do throw me.

 Liam is thinking of applying to be a comfort dog. 




No, not the job for him.
He primarily is interested in his own comfort.
We'll limit it to a hobby.

JUST LICKS LEFT

Woof, Woof

Holiday Hounding

LIAM WAITS FOR HIS GUESTS

 

Liam shows no sign of what is to come. He seems sleepy, cozy, comatose, curled into a ball joining his squeaky Snowman in bed. As time for our guests' arrival nears, he knows something is up. He sits up in his greeting position. Ears perking every so often.  

We are putting away his toys, moving his bed, his blankets, pillows, doll 

 rocking his world. Since his world is every place in the house it is quite a large shake up.

The day is Friday, December 28, 2012, our regular Crabtree's night.  Our friends make a yearly Holiday visit. We will sit around, catch up, toast, nibble, gift each other with creative treasures and then take off for dinner at Crabtree's. This has been the tradition for 15 years, Liam part of it for the last 5.

Our friends arrive, Liam leaps from the couch and as the door opens he lunges. Gets everyone with a frontal body slam and a few direct hits on private parts. Ouch! Why? This is not the sweet, licking loving Liam. The half hound Liam smells a mini candy. A tiny wrapped chocolate is wolfed down, foil and all. Oh, you are thinking that you heard chocolate might be fatal?  Nope. Not for this dog, not this night. My mortification over our only child's behavior continues as Liam, walks over our guests, does his catlike above the head stalking and offers his unsolicited paw whenever the conversation turns from him.Our friend succeeds in having Liam sit by speaking to him in Spanish "sentarse" who knew? NSAL told us he is a rescue from Tennessee.

To say I am embarrassed does not describe my level of humiliation. I have a little dog who is doing whatever he wants. He only leaves when the heat blows out of the vent and he avails himself of his mini fireplace. When the hot air blowing is over he rejoins the pack.

I am a failed pack leader.

I am a bad host.

I have raised a spoiled only child.

Next day, I search for my dog training guide. Several pages of rules. Will share some.

Dogs need to be taught-"Drop it"

Dogs own no possessions, everything belongs to the humans.

Dogs should not be allowed on the furniture, as the leader of the pack you must have the most comfortable spot.  Dogs belong on the floor.

LIAM IN MY SPOT IN MY HOUNDSTOOTH SHAWL

The pack leader is the one who greets the newcomers first; the dog is the last to get attention.

I could go on but there are 19 more such commandments.

The day after, Liam changes back into Liam. 

A SLEEPING DOG LIES

 I assure our friends this scenario will not be repeated next year. It will not. He will be trained.

And BTW our friends are fine with Liam, calling him exuberant and saying they love him. 

Gracias

Woof, Woof

Tidings of Comfort Dogs and Joy

 COMFORT

Comfort dogs are visiting Newtown Ct.  They were outside when President Obama spoke on Sunday and have been located at various places around town all week. The dogs wear signs that say "Please Pet Me" and they have been obliged in that request by many in Newtown.  The following is a video-worth a look
The dogs have FB pages and business cards.  Check out the link for their page and pix from their week at Newtown.
https://www.facebook.com/k9comfort?ref=ts&fref=ts

These dogs are trained to provide comfort.  No words need be spoken. No effort to think of what to say or how to act. What a relief that must be to this town in grief.

Liam would not meet the standards of a comfort dog. I talked to him about it as we have watched the sad events of The Sandys- storm and shootings. Liam is a licker and leaper and knocks kids down with his exuberance.
He does what he does.

Liam received a toy, Snowy, from Aunt Suzy   And seems to have appropriated my gift, a doll, Charlotte
He surprised us by accepting them into the pack and protecting both. 

Comfort dogs Luther, Ruthie, Chewie, Maggie and Hannah have returned to Chicago area after making many new friends. Comfort dogs Prince, Barnabas and Chloe remain in Newtown.

Many tributes for the Newtown children have been done. From the heart, original and inspiring.  Anderson Cooper interviewed the family of Grace McDonnell early this week and mentioned to them that the song "Amazing Grace" makes him cry but that now he will always think of their Grace when he hears it. His AC360 show ended its Monday and Tuesday night broadcasts with the song while introducing each child. The pace and arrangement gives you a few seconds to meet and say goodbye to each one. Video below.

Today our yoga teacher ended our class with this wish as she always does

"May there be peace in your hearts and in the world this day. Namaste."

If you say it aloud, its rhyming is very soothing. 

Say it again, even better. 

"May there be peace in your hearts and in the world this day. Namaste."

Like a litany

 or 

mantra

or

 prayer

Woof, Woof
See you in two weeks

Holiday Stress- Parent and Pooch

HOLIDAY STRESS AFFECTS LIAM?

Stress is a word mentioned by many this fall.  We started with Sandy storm stress which carried us through November. If you did not discard it or deal with the storm stress it might have collided and  united with the holiday season stress. Advice on how to handle this year's double stress is offered by professionals, friends, family and coworkers. My niece, Liz Nikol, wrote an article about Holiday stress in her column "Tackle Your Thinking."  I like her ideas and solutions. Good validation for me of my own organized approach to the stress of the holidays. Yay for me- I should write an article too. Link follows. Easy and helpful read.
http://www.theshowcasemagazine.net/articles.php?id=tackle

LIAM READS TO RELIEVE STRESS

As I just indicated, I thought I was doing well this year. I had made adjustments in my schedule, and continue to stick to my routine-exercise, helping Liam with his blog, no slacking off here, reading required books for clubs, shopping online-no mall mauling, making and keeping doctor appointments, Yoga classes, annual car checkup and more.
I do not feel distracted and worried about upcoming social events. How then do I explain my behavior this past Monday morning?

Monday morning timeline
7:45 AM appt. with pulmonologist (for restless leg syndrome, sleep issues)
My doctor hands me this pipe thing in which you breathe- inhale, then exhale, then inhale. Supposed to show lung capacity. You want high numbers on this. Before I do this my doctor asks my age. I say 95. He laughs,"You are so funny" I try again and say "100?" Stop, he says, "You are too much."  I realize that is not the number expected and find out he wants to know my age. I tell him (is this a memory test?)  I do score a great inhaler number- 96 on the first try, then 100 for the second. Woo hoo, I am a good breather!  I leave the doctor smiling-he thinks I am such a kidder. I like being funny. But I am not trying to be funny.

LIAM'S LATTE

8:00 AM Starbucks- on the way back from doctor.
I am thrilled that today is the day that the combo gift packs of cookies/ syrup go on sale. I have seen the ad on my iPad.  However, they are not on sale. I insist (very nicely) after all, this is my everyday SB. I have built up a backlog of good will so that the very accommodating manager sits down with me and we scan our smartphones for the ad.  No, not there. The ad for the yummy combos is there but the sale is for a smaller item shown nearby. Whoops. I have sort of created a disturbance. Out with my latte and onward. I bought the item anyway the next day.

10:00 AM Podiatrist (plantar fasciitis from wearing heels for too many years)
Door locked. Standing outside the locked door, I call-hear myself inside being recorded. If they are late I will at least get credit. I arrive home. Answering machine and appointment card say 11:30.  I return at 11:30 and receptionist says they got my call. She also thinks I am funny for leaving the message. Again, I am not trying to be funny.

Stress causing these occurrences? Where is my mind?  Elsewhere. I think I better reread Liz's article. And probably should not write my own.  Or is it my hearing? Or my vision? What about Liam?  Is he experiencing holiday stress? Articles are coming through this week about pet stress.  See link for a summary.
http://www.onlynaturalpet.com/knowledgebase/knowledgebasedetail.aspx?articleid=49&Keywords=&click=76134&utm_source=eps&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=epm-120312-nlt-holidaystress-p-r

If we are acting different, naturally our pets will pick up on it. The room changes. A tree is up.  The tumble down the stairs into the living room is stopped.  No easy access.  Cards are hung on the railing by the staircase.  Packages and cards arrive. New folks deliver to the door. Packages of doggie gifts arrive with yummy treats.

Liam did gain another area of the living room now owning the love seat with his pillows and blanket.

Liam's Stress Relievers

Yawning relieves stress.

Putting his head on his photo head pillow.

 

hanging head

Ignoring the parents and snoozing

For me-I could go on with my mishaps. 

I put all my gym stuff in my locker and carried the lock with me to the row machine, leaving all my valuables unlocked. 

After my Monday foray in Starbucks, when I did finally buy the item at full price, I left it on the counter

Maybe I am trying to be funny. 

I don't think it is stress. 

Woof, Woof

Another tree lost

NO TREE- LIAM DREAMS OF TREATS

This time it is not a storm that causes a tree to be put out on the curb in pieces. This discarded tree is inanimate and only comes to life at Christmas when it is hauled from the basement. We expect it to be dead. After the storms, so many real trees down, broken. The tree branches and trunks are chopped into logs and sticks occupying curb space.  I am not surprised when one section of our artificial tree does not light up. An empathetic "lights out" salute from our inanimate Christmas tree. This means I have to find a new one. I am an "online" shopper, not an "on line" shopper. I rarely go shopping in a real store.  I know though that this time I must venture out.

I RATHER SHOP ONLINE NOT ON LINE

It is Tuesday, December 4, 2012. I want the tree up today. We have a shopping center nearby that has a variety of stores; several sure to have Christmas trees. I select three- Bed Bath and Beyond, jc penney's and Sears.  BBB is my favorite. I love the culture of the big carts (get your own stuff, put it in, no seeking help)) and the coupons which are good until the world ends- or the end of December 2012.  I keep a coupon-filled envelope in the trunk of my car and enjoy giving the coupons out to others on line. Oh what a power thrill!  I am on my way east on Union Turnpike. I always try to do all things in order- not go south, then north, then south. This is why I ended up at Sears first. This store is on the very end of the shopping center.  If I go to Sears I will not be embroiled in the possible grid lock of the Holiday shoppers in the rest of the parking lot. I drive in and park. As I enter I immediately feel that this is a mistake. Very few workers, many customers. Both groups looking unhappy. To the right I notice a sign that says "merchandise pickup." I will not be on my own in this. I will first have to find a salesclerk, who will then get the item number, then I will pay at the checkout, then go to merchandise pick up" tip someone to carry it ( no carts here). I now understand why everyone looks so desolate here. I get the attention of a cashier "Where is the Christmas display?" I ask obsequiously. "Downstairs in the basement, not here" comes the reply in a tone of weary annoyance. I guess her register location requires her to answer many "Where is it?" questions all day long.  The down escalators are as far away as can be from the entrance. Every department I walk through has small frowning women focused on tagging items on racks. No eye contact-they look beaten down. I arrive at the escalator and emerge downstairs. A tableau of vacuum cleaners, snow blowers and an area of fully assembled lit Christmas trees.  Oh no. I want one in a box, one I can carry out. The floor is eerily quiet. No one in sight. Who in the world would ever want to shop in this joyless barren holiday section! I feel a creepiness and keep checking around me. It feels like it is after hours and I am stuck alone in the store. I fear the nutcracker wooden soldiers will start whirring to life.  I walk the length of the basement and find a burly Sears employee- good I think, he probably can lift a box. He tells me he cannot help- and points to where my help is.  I see a group of irate looking customers and a few harried salesclerks.  Really?  That is my help? He thinks one of these clerks is going to leave the register and get me a tree which then I will have to pick up and then pay someone to take to the car???  Did I mention the trees were all over 200 dollars!  I bet not a one has ever been sold. They only put them up to light up the snow blower display!

I am out of there. I do not have a tree. I fight the urge to exit and go to Starbucks for a comfort latte.  I drive to BBB. There are spots. I retrieve my coupon envelope from the trunk.  Ah, I feel like I am coming home. The store has a happy buzz. I enter, get on the escalator, a man starts joking with me. There are shopping carts which equal self service, independence. I see boxes of trees with handles, put one in my cart, get on line. The man in front of me praises my choice. People are friendly, making connections, the staff members have badges, they catch your eye and ask to help.  I can even play Santa and offer coupons to others. I tell the cashier a little bit of my Sears visit.. He smiles wisely not saying anything about a fellow store but sending me out with a "Have a Wonderful Christmas Ms. McNiff. Obviously sizing me up as a needy tree person wanting recognition. Back to the car- I place the tree in the trunk-coupon envelope with it. I am done-12 minutes.

And yes, I did get my latte. Liam watches with his "blue night adjusted eyes" while I decorate.  Sandy lanterns lighting the area.  Next day we continue in the light.Liam knows it is a different tree. He smells it. Liam accepts. After a few latte licks, there is peace on our little piece of earth.

Woof, Woof

Mama's Boy

LIAM-MAMA'S BOY

The designation "Mama's Boy" has a slightly pejorative connotation at times, alluding to a male specifically close to his mother. The belief that being close to one's mother prevents other relationships from flourishing, resulting in a lack of independence and no desire to leave home as an adult.  My favorite wiki source has some more on this http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mother%27s_boy

I have a Mama's boy in my home. Liam Joseph McNiff-Nikol, our five year old rescue. His mama's boy personality is sharpening as he gets older and he has no qualms about showing it.  His dependence on me has been on my mind this week because Liam's annual physical is tomorrow, Friday, November 30, 2012. The place of his physical is Garden City Vet. check it out
https://www.facebook.com/GardenCityVeterinaryCare?fref=ts
This is the venue at which he exhibits his mama's boy traits most blatantly. I have been reminded of this appointment in every form of communication-text, email and phone so I have built up a dread of it on his behalf.

Liam's reminders:

Text
PETPORTALS: Carol, Liam has an appointment on 11/30/12 at 9:00 AM. Please call; 516-742-0606 with any questions. VHELP 4 info
sent via Blackberry by AT&T

Email
You have an upcoming appointment for Liam, We're looking forward to your visit-regular check-ups are a very important part of ensuring a happy healthy life for your pet. It goes on for a page or two delineating all the products that will be needed to prevent internal and external parasite attacks to Liam's body.

Liam-11/30/12 09:00 AM

Phone
Hi, this is Lindsay calling to remind you of Liam's appointment tomorrow at 9AM. Please call back if you cannot make it, have a good day, looking forward to seeing you then

Good that Liam is not able to read or hear these reminders. The annual physical as well as any other visit to the vet causes Liam great anxietyLast year he even cried.  Each vet visit is worse than the one before.  It starts when I pull the car into the parking lot. Liam knows that the left side is the Vet, the right the Resort.  If we head left he tenses his body and settles down in his Doxie squat.  I have to pull him to the door. Once inside he jumps on anyone willing to say "hi" giving generous licks as if his fancy tongue work will secure his release. He then attempts to climb into my lap.  Other doggie patients will be on the floor in "sit" position, not us-Mama's boy is on full display. When we are summoned to the exam room, the whimpering starts, the sight of the scale causes thrashing. I react the same way when asked to step on the scale at my doctor but have learned to hide my terror. I ask that my weight not be announced.  Liam has no such luxury. His number is announced and then compared to the prior recordation- allowable range 32-35. Liam is low to the ground and very muscular.  A little big dog often mistaken for a mini lab. Easy to gain a pound with his love of Kong treats (given by Daddy Paul)

 MUSCULAR SHORT LIAM

Last night my neighbor invited Liam and me over for a visit, just a hello.  His girlfriend Tango was super excited. Liam spent most of the hour visit under the table and begging for kisses and relief from this doggie/human play date. When my friend asked for both dogs to follow her from the kitchen, Liam would not leave unless I followed. 

HIDING BETWEEN THE BLANKETS

In case you are thinking that I might be projecting my feelings on Liam, I say no. I like going to doctors. I like that they are interested in me. I am happy someone cares enough to make annotations about me. I know I am paying for this but so what. A book of me!
Guess I will have to talk to Liam about this. As a fellow Leo he might understand that attention is always welcome.
Think of us at 9AM.

LIAM THINKING-MUST BE A WAY OUT OF THIS

Whah, whah, oops Woof Woof