Mama's Boy

LIAM-MAMA'S BOY

The designation "Mama's Boy" has a slightly pejorative connotation at times, alluding to a male specifically close to his mother. The belief that being close to one's mother prevents other relationships from flourishing, resulting in a lack of independence and no desire to leave home as an adult.  My favorite wiki source has some more on this http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mother%27s_boy

I have a Mama's boy in my home. Liam Joseph McNiff-Nikol, our five year old rescue. His mama's boy personality is sharpening as he gets older and he has no qualms about showing it.  His dependence on me has been on my mind this week because Liam's annual physical is tomorrow, Friday, November 30, 2012. The place of his physical is Garden City Vet. check it out
https://www.facebook.com/GardenCityVeterinaryCare?fref=ts
This is the venue at which he exhibits his mama's boy traits most blatantly. I have been reminded of this appointment in every form of communication-text, email and phone so I have built up a dread of it on his behalf.

Liam's reminders:

Text
PETPORTALS: Carol, Liam has an appointment on 11/30/12 at 9:00 AM. Please call; 516-742-0606 with any questions. VHELP 4 info
sent via Blackberry by AT&T

Email
You have an upcoming appointment for Liam, We're looking forward to your visit-regular check-ups are a very important part of ensuring a happy healthy life for your pet. It goes on for a page or two delineating all the products that will be needed to prevent internal and external parasite attacks to Liam's body.

Liam-11/30/12 09:00 AM

Phone
Hi, this is Lindsay calling to remind you of Liam's appointment tomorrow at 9AM. Please call back if you cannot make it, have a good day, looking forward to seeing you then

Good that Liam is not able to read or hear these reminders. The annual physical as well as any other visit to the vet causes Liam great anxietyLast year he even cried.  Each vet visit is worse than the one before.  It starts when I pull the car into the parking lot. Liam knows that the left side is the Vet, the right the Resort.  If we head left he tenses his body and settles down in his Doxie squat.  I have to pull him to the door. Once inside he jumps on anyone willing to say "hi" giving generous licks as if his fancy tongue work will secure his release. He then attempts to climb into my lap.  Other doggie patients will be on the floor in "sit" position, not us-Mama's boy is on full display. When we are summoned to the exam room, the whimpering starts, the sight of the scale causes thrashing. I react the same way when asked to step on the scale at my doctor but have learned to hide my terror. I ask that my weight not be announced.  Liam has no such luxury. His number is announced and then compared to the prior recordation- allowable range 32-35. Liam is low to the ground and very muscular.  A little big dog often mistaken for a mini lab. Easy to gain a pound with his love of Kong treats (given by Daddy Paul)

 MUSCULAR SHORT LIAM

Last night my neighbor invited Liam and me over for a visit, just a hello.  His girlfriend Tango was super excited. Liam spent most of the hour visit under the table and begging for kisses and relief from this doggie/human play date. When my friend asked for both dogs to follow her from the kitchen, Liam would not leave unless I followed. 

HIDING BETWEEN THE BLANKETS

In case you are thinking that I might be projecting my feelings on Liam, I say no. I like going to doctors. I like that they are interested in me. I am happy someone cares enough to make annotations about me. I know I am paying for this but so what. A book of me!
Guess I will have to talk to Liam about this. As a fellow Leo he might understand that attention is always welcome.
Think of us at 9AM.

LIAM THINKING-MUST BE A WAY OUT OF THIS

Whah, whah, oops Woof Woof

Sandy Sorrow

Images. The juxtaposition of the Thanksgiving food feast with Sandy devastation photos and recovery stories. Curbs lined with ruined treasures while the Macy's balloons come to life. The storm stories are still coming in. and will continue. Yet the holiday season arrives and we are urged to buy and shop. Stores are trying for unprecedented 8 PM openings on Thanksgiving. Not easy to flip the switch to Turkey Day this year- it seems thrust upon us too soon. We didn't have the traditional markers that give pace to autumn and move us gently into the holiday season. Halloween really did not happen. The fall foliage only had a brief show before Hurricane Sandy ripped off the leaves and winter storm Athena buried them under heavy snow. When the landscape emerged it was broken, empty, and brown. The colors of fall did not fly for long. Winter arrives early and the days are often grey and cloudy. I cannot seem to accept the arrival of the new season. How will we decorate, shop and go forward? Stalled, stuck in placeI think there is a sort of confusion about what is appropriate when many are suffering -my friend Lynne describes it as a "universal sorrow" for all the loss around us. On Sunday, Liam's doggie cousin, Winnie, disappeared from my sister's house. Winnie is a 15 year old 4 pound Maltese, blind and deaf.  Possibly wandered out in the post Sandy confusion. With routines upended and people stressed, pets also do the unexpected. This morning, three days after Winnie went missing, my sister located her at The Shelter Connection in Port Washington.  http://www.theshelterconnection.com/
She was there with about 9 or 10 pit bulls and was on the verge of being adopted. Tonight Winnie is back home, thanks to the observant folks who called 311 and had her picked up. A huge joy from such a tiny dog.
And there are other joys. Liam shows the way. Today, free latte at Starbucks, my reward for going so often. Liam gets last licks. Simple pleasures. This card from a

dear friend displays an array of leaves; fall foliage is here, in my house, thank you Virgo pal!

Liam joins in 

Cheers!









A card from my niece Liz with a message. Has to be little things this year- feeling mindful of the enormity of what is changed and gone.

And our own little thing, Winnie, home for the Holiday!

Woof, Woof

Leaping to Conclusions

AFTER ATHENA-BROKEN DOGWOOD, FALLEN ANGEL (BACK LEFT) LIAM AND HAPPY BUDDHA

These last two and a half weeks following Sandy have resulted in seeing and experiencing unfamiliar happenings. Routines disrupted.  Schedules changed.  Activities canceled. Damage to homes, breakage of trees, fallen wires, orange cones and yellow tape. People came out to see, observe, report, share stories. Some folks welcomed the forced mingling, some tolerated it, and others recoiled. Openly and silently, some accused, some judged.  Assumptions were made, followed by conclusions. These conclusions were then told as stories and taken as fact.



Last night I am watching the news and Secretary of Defense Leon Panetta.is speaking. He is urging us not to leap to conclusions and to be careful with words.  He is referring to the expanding General Petraeus situation but I feel he is speaking to me about my storm behavior. I have made assumptions and leaped to conclusions during these last few weeks. I was wrong a few times and I'll share with you.

LIAM AND HIS FAVORITE ROSE OF SHARON

My health club was closed after Sandy for the entire first week. I assumed no power. On Monday, November 5, a few regulars returned. I was among them. Bathrooms closed, rugs being installed. The machines were in different spots. I thought... oh no!  They are renovating, What about folks who need to be warm and take showers and exercise? Why? We are family!!! Conclusion- they are using the storm as an opportunity to fix stuff. They should be a shelter! Two days later they lost power again. The owner opened to allow members to exercise- the owner talked to me- I was only woman who came in- he told me the story of how they had flooded after Sandy, so was much ruined-that he had to change all the carpets, move each machine himself. How he had wanted to have the members come in, be warm and shower. He had opened this day just so people could come in and resume their routines. I wrote a different story by assumption. I was wrong
.

LIAM FINDS A NEW POSITION, SANDY HAS CHANGED THE VIEW

That did not stop me though, I was on a roll. I mentioned to another member (without power) that I saw someone power washing his driveway.  I expressed my intense disgust that this would be done in full view of others who do not have power. She thought a minute and said "people have anxiety, they do certain activities to comfort themselves:" I reflected on this and realized that I had assumed he was thoughtless and insensitive. Perhaps he was trying to calm his own fears and make his world controllable and routine again. Another point of view.

I continued my observations, always correct, I assumed. We live across the street from one of the North Hempstead POD (points of distribution) free water was available there. People went and received water. I was annoyed. Why do they need? This is for folks whose homes are flooded, displaced people, not people with power and supplies, they must have plenty.  I then saw these bottles of water were given to LIPA workers, to tree workers, and to town trucks on our block. I assumed greed, concluded hoarding -wrong.

We have a new normal. 

The landscape is changed

The world is askew

Time for a new point of view

We may live with storm anxiety for a long time, and peoples' actions may not be what they were before, they may be different just as all this is different.  Looking at it from another perspective is a must; Liam found a new sunny place, forward.

Woof, Woof

Marathons

LIAM MEETS ATHENA

Marathons. All kinds. The NYC Marathon becomes a target. It is canceled. The Presidential race has been a marathon; it seems we have been listening to speeches forever. And the marathon cleanup in the wakes of Sandy and now Athena. The word has several meanings. 26.2 miles.  A long journey, often arduous, sometimes seemingly never ending, a battle in 490 BC
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/marathon

NYC Marathon done. Never started.

Marathon Election done. 

LIAM WATCHING DADDY PAUL WATCHING LIPA

Northeast Marathon cleanup nowhere near done.

Marathon of feelings- loss. despair, anxiety, abandonment, concern, helplessness, guilt, fear, regret, sadness, anger, disbelief, hope, insight, gratitude and acceptance as well as disappointment

It continues
Cold.
Dark
Changed landscapes

DOWNED MAPLE PERMITS SUN TO STREAM IN

There is sunlight where there was darkness -a tree once blocked the light.

People without homes. No power since Sandy. Then we have a nor'easter. And she is the first storm this year with a name. Athena.

LIAM OUT AFTER NOR'EASTER ATHENA

TWC thought this up. The National Weather Service does not back it.  Link below has an explanation. Many names are from Greek and Roman mythology. Next one is Brutus and he is out there.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/entertainment/tv/east-coast-storm-is-a-noreaster-to-the-weather-service-athena-to-the-weather-channel/2012/11/08/5736ea2a-29c8-11e2-aaa5-ac786110c486_story.html

LIAM SHELTERING WITH OUTDOOR ANIMALS

New friends. New shelters. Help coming. Not to all. People giving money, time, items.  Folks trying to do what they do best.  Telethon for Sandy video-these people did what they do best.  Have a listen

LIAM WATCHING ATHENA CLEANUP

What is next?
Woof, Woof

Watching, Waiting and Whacked

LIAM LOOKING FOR SANDY

Much buildup.  Many news conferences. Prepping. Waiting. Anxiety. Eating. Anxiety. Drinking-then it happened.  The wind came with a little rain.  Liam watched for Sandy.

LIAM WATCHING HIS FAVORITE MAPLE

Liam's maple in previous photo fell on Monday, October 29th, hours before Sandy made landfall. 

LIAM'S MAPLE DOWN -CONED AND WRAPPED

The wind, the maple's tenuous hold on the soggy sandy soil and above ground roots combined to pull it up and down. The sidewalk went with it.  I never heard it. Our neighbors did and gave us the play by play. A slow crackling and a gentle fall with a grace befitting its old age. No power loss, no one hurt. Power lines remain intact within its branches. All power went hours later around 5:45 PM. Hundreds of towers flashed one another with lightning like signals and most of Long Island lost power within the next few hours. It was all power, even cell, no 2G. 3G, 4G. WiFi, heat, light. Cut off.

LIAM IN THE DARK IN THUNDERSHIRT

The wind was so loud I took my hearing aids out.
Liam listened. Heard too much.

LIAM IN HIS SAFE POSITION

Took his position between the pillow and back of the couch
In the dark, waiting for the morning light

Words and phrases exchanged this week

Be safe

No power

R u ok?  

Stay safe

No cell

I have wine

Generator  

Tree down

R u ok?

We r fine
ThankYou

 Be safe, Stay safe

Woof, Woof

Bye Baby

LIAM IN HIS BUNTING OR IS HE THE BUNTING?

Liam ended up under my shawl, head on pillow.  Pooch on Pillow is Liam's doing.  Shawl on slumbering dog is his Daddy's doing.  I looked and a rhyme popped in my head shaken loose by a glass of Cabernet.  I recited  the first verse of a poem that I had not thought of since childhood.

Bye, baby Bunting,

Daddy's gone-a hunting,

Gone to get a rabbit skin

To wrap the baby Bunting in

Liam all bunched up released it from my brain. I'm thinking "the shawl is Bunting" and Daddy is hunting for more.  I remember it as being haunting, pretty and a little scary.  No one's father I knew went hunting for skins to wrap their kids in. And it sure was not comforting the way my mother presented it- a sort of angry indictment and tale of abandonment - I think now that the verse as she used it was a euphemism for "your father is drinking beer in Woodside, he'll be gone for hours since the chances of skinning a rabbit from the bar stool are slim to none." This way she got her anger out and also credit for doing a motherly bedtime story.
Click to listen-only a minute

Here is more history provided by all the wikis out there
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bye,_baby_Bunting

The meaning of baby Bunting seems to have perturbed others. The original meaning is not what I had thought it was.  Bunting is Scottish-an affectionate term for a plump baby-particularly its bottom or "bunt"  Liam-is the bunting and my shawl is the rabbit skin.

I personally think he would love this to be the truth since chasing bunnies is part of the joy of his nightly walk. The following link explains

http://www.grammarphobia.com/blog/2010/04/1697.html
The same night Liam was wrapped in his "bunting I was reading Joan Didion's memoir "Blue Nights" of grief and regret about her deceased daughter.  I was astonished to find several references to this nursery rhyme in her book. The version of this song as she sang it to her daughter was Bye Baby Bunny, not Bye baby Bunting.  Guess as a writer she knew "the Bunting" was the baby and modernized Bunting to Bunny so her daughter would understand. Its use in Ms. Didion's memoir is poignant and sort of a goodbye.

Probably the rhyme can be whatever one wants it to be. 

Liam is wrapped in his bunting 

No one is going hunting. 

If I have some wine

I may write the last line

Woof, Woof

NYCWFF

LIAM THINKING OF WINE AND NYCWFF

I worked for the Government and we thrived on acronyms. They usually formed real words.  Like SALT and PEPPER which were abbreviations of computer programs. NYCWFF, though not a cutesy word, is an acronym for the New York City Wine and Food Festival where much salt, pepper and other spices are present.  My Virgo pal and I attended three TimesTalks with four Chefs, who are also Food Network stars, Top Chef Masters, TV personalities, hosts, authors, event speakers, restauranteurs- some even have been tagged "their own brand"

LIAM'S FOOD FESTIVAL

1- Bobby Flay and Giada.  Videos : New York Times Events
They were in a two person interview format.  Giada took the mic from the moderator, Julia Moskin, and really never let it go to Bobby which was cute and the source of good natured teasing among the three. We were not permitted to take pix or videos and unlike a Springsteen concert they mean it.  I was able find a clip up top on the TimesTalks website. Worth a few minutes. Bobby and Giada play off one another well. They have a talk show planned for fall 2013 and Bobby envisions it to be like a "Regis and Kelly" Not another "The Chew" which is talking while cooking and chewing, theirs more talking and then cooking and chewing.
a choice of links follow-each a little different
http://nytimes.whsites.net/timestalks/videos/
http://nytimes.whsites.net/timestalks/

THIS IS IT FOR LIAM

2- Paula Deen, dog Lulu, hubby Michael in the audience.
Lulu was a fine guest with an orange bow to match the Times Talk decor. She joined Michael in the audience when the talk got serious.

LIAM AT HOME- NO TV APPEARANCE

Paula was a revelation to me. The buzz in the theater before she came out was palpable and wow, is she loved!  I have been critical of her pushing butter, her hiding her diabetes and representing a drug company. She explained it all and I believe her. She is loyal, funny, spontaneous and irreverent. Many folks in the audience seemed to have met her and others had been inspired by her. Paula referred to Twitter as Twatter, and a tweet as a twat until the moderator, Kim Severson, affectionately cautioned her.  She left the stage to a standing ovation and a convert in me. Here she is from earlier this year.

3-Marcus Samuelsson 
Marcus was the intense fire of the day-like the Ethiopian spice-berbere-shown on the book jacket  http://www.ethiopianspices.com/html/products.asp
Interviewer, Sam Sifton, was warm and engaging in their exchanges-a mutual like and respect evident.
Marcus wore a red vest, red sneakers and a cap (and more)  He talked of his life story.  Marcus has a new memoir. Yes, Chef.

LIAM PROMOTING MARCUS

Riveting.  His energy is so strong and he projects it like a laser at the audience. I had two personal encounters after the lecture. He invited me to ride the elevator with him, I was rooted to the spot, could not move and the doors shut in my face. Then later he emerged from the men's room and there I was and again I could not approach. That's okay. He addressed me, smiled at me, offered me a ride.  Note to self- if Marcus Samuelsson offers you a spot in his elevator the answer is " Yes, Chef."  Here he is, reading from his book.

and then Butter-the restaurant of Chef Alex Guarnaschelli.. I will remember that soup and those scallops forever.  I have a clip of Alex. She is sitting right where I was when I waited for the rest room.
http://www.butterrestaurant.com/

and Liam stayed hope with Daddy. Their bromance continues. Glad I have women friends.
I was gone many hours- more than a half day.
Liam was waiting at home- had some wine waiting to hear my stories so we could start the blog.

Woof, Woof