Thursday, April 21, 2016

How big is Liam?

 BIGGER LIAM
BIG
"How big is Liam?" This question from the staff person at the desk surprises me. I am at Best in Show Pet Resort making a reservation for Liam's overnight stay. Big? Do they know Liam has put on a few pounds? I am sensitive to questions on bigness. My radar is activated whenever size is mentioned. Over a half century of managing an eating disorder has me vulnerable to words invoking body mass. I feel an oral defense about to erupt on behalf of my little "big" boy. He has been adding a pound here and there. He is 8 years old. He can run faster than almost any dog. He looks fine. Then a statement. "The file says he is 31 pounds." Do they know Liam has put on a few pounds? Will they weigh him? An event I most dread at any doctor's office. Why this question? I guess my face had an expression of wariness and incredulity and tenseness. "We want to know so we can put him in the proper playgroup. And in the most comfortable room." My anxiety recedes, a bit. Nothing sinister, I think. Then help from one of the handlers who has been listening. "Liam is a small dog."
SMALL
SMALL
I say "Yes, he is 15 inches tall. Small. I add he has gained some weight and mumble he is 39.5 pounds; adding he is hard as a rock and full of sinewy muscle on every part of his body. I point to the gallery of photos."See his portrait is on the wall." No one is listening to my ramblings but I keep talking."This new poundage will not increase the space he takes up in the playroom."
Yes, I gave this speech. I hear myself and cannot believe I am saying all this. I am projecting. One fear I have is taking up too much space. Or rather more space than I deserve. This is not Liam's issue. This is my issue. I tell myself to stop  Be quiet, Carol


TODAY THROWBACK THURSDAY
We bring Liam in Monday morning. And the same day some old photos show up in the On This Day feature of Facebook. Liam and I on April 18, 2010. Six years ago.
What do you think readers? A thinner Liam in 2010?  See next photo
LIAM IN APRIL 2010

Here we are using space wisely. Compressed. Efficient. A small circumference for the two of us.
NOT TAKING UP TOO MUCH SPACE
And now, April 2016...a bigger boy? Liam ..39.5 pounds 
MOM! MAYBE A TOO WIDE ANGLE
BEST IN SHOW
And the bigger Liam is boarded at Best in Show this week. I had told him of the "How big is Liam?" question and he is prepared to look small.
The way to look small and conceal weight gain is to surround oneself with bigger dogs.
Or with pals the same size
Not with pals smaller.
OH NO, THESE GUYS ARE TOO SMALL
THIS IS WORSE, A TINY ONE UNDER ME

OKAY, BETTER, AT LEAST THEY ARE MY SIZE
FOUND A BIGGER PAL
Liam returns home. He must have lost a few pounds. All that running in playgroup.
We have a cutoff weight. Forty pounds. He cannot go over it. He spends the first night home napping. Dogs do this after boarding. The stay away is emotionally and physically rough for them.
In the future, more walks, fewer treats.

Woof woof

3 comments:

  1. Now that I know you hung out with me so you could feel smaller...I should probably confess that I always (psychologically) protected my large Midwestern self from the terror of the NYC subways by choosing to stand next to small women--obviously easier, more vulnerable targets, should some criminal be comparison shopping!

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    1. Haha...and I thank you for that; I did feel smaller. The big terrors on the subways now are the shameless groups of singers who seem to only enter the car I am in and sing into my face. I suppose they are bending over. Or maybe I am standing.

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  2. Liam looks great. No need to worry about a pound or two. And don't you just love the long nap they take after they returned from boarding. It's almost as if to say okay Mom I can sleep now. You protect me as I am safely in my home

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