Thursday, January 28, 2010

Petty Thief / Petite Thief


I might be a petty thief or because of my stature, a petite thief. I never, ever would have thought of myself as one, but my hubby Paul called me on my actions last week. He said that I was stealing electricity. This theft occurred at Saturn in Hempstead where we were undergoing a final checkup (see last week's LiamLicks-Suns Sets on Saturn). I noticed that my Blackberry had lost a few bars and was not fully charged. I like my BB to be at full charge, any loss of a bar causes anxiety to seep into me as the power seeps out of it. I spotted a free electric socket and plugged in my Blackberry. I always carry a charger with me. I am quite proud that I am always ready to give the transfusion necessary to the device that is my lifeline to the world.
Paul and I spent two hours waiting for our cars to be routinely maintenanced. Sassy was done first. I unplugged my BB and announced "fully charged." Aah, Sassy and BB both bursting with life. It was at this point that Paul announced my indictment "don't you think that you are stealing from Saturn by using their electricity? The electricity belongs to them, not you." Steal...... me? "Are you kidding?" I replied, "I never thought of it that way." I recharge in many locations. I recounted my uses of electricity; as I ticked off my BB chargings, a profile of a serial electricity stealer took shape.
I recharge at my hair salon, Starbucks, restaurants, pubs, people's homes, train stations, hotels, cruise ships, doctor's waiting rooms. As I ran through the litany of my abuses I began to think how bold I had been, albeit unknowingly. I did not even wear a mask or brandish a note when committing these thefts. Paul was incredulous. "You really never looked at it as stealing." No way! I am scrupulously honest.
Paul has often commented on how I rarely turn off a light. How I leave the TV on, the radio, the PC. I counter that I like sound, light and life. What a delightful spirit I have! He does not buy it. He feels that my ignorance of the cost and ownership of electricity is a result of growing up in a city housing project. Here we go again. Fact-it is true, We did not pay for gas and electric in my housing project. Did growing up in Pomonok houses lead to a life of electric crime? Would Chief Justice Sonia Sotomayor ( a product of city housing) have pity on my petty thefts? http://www.whitehouse.gov/the_press_office/Background-on-Judge-Sonia-Sotomayor/
Without any research I have determined that my thefts are small, minor, petite. Why? The blackberry is small, the time it takes to recharge is short, I am small/ short). Hence, petty (in the best sense), petite, petit applies.

I checked the definitions the words petty, theft, and petite to ensure I was on the right track.
http://legal-dictionary.the free dictionary.com/petty+theft and dictionary.com

main entry: petty thief/noun
definition: petite person who steals
synonyms: bandit, moonlighter, pilferer, purloiner, heister, lifter, harpy, poacher, pillager, marauder, pirate, rustler, cat burglar not dog burglar Liam is happy, pickpocket, filcher, thug

main entry: petty/adjective
definition: minor, of little importance, marked of narrow interests
variation petit- from French

main entry: petite/adjective
definition: small, dinky (Brit. informal) bantam, flyspeck

main entry: Carol/noun
definition: petite thief, never petty in the "bad" small sense

Am I the cause of Saturn's downfall? Starbuck's loss of revenue and its humiliating foray into instant coffee?
If I stop plugging in, will the economy turn around? Our President pledged to focus on the job situation in last night's State of the Union address. Was electricity usage mentioned? Liam watched the speech and wondered

Some of the places I have plugged in for electricity
Starbucks, Chelsea, NYC
Starbucks, Bellerose, NYC
Starbucks, Great Neck, NY
Saturn, Hempstead Long Island, NY
Legend's Pub, NYC
Sister-in-law's, Forest Hills, NY
Crabtree's Restaurant, Floral Park, NY
Touch Of Class II Salon, Floral Park, NY
Niece's home-Millington, NJ
Childhood friend's Lake House-Hopatcong, NJ
Beekman Arms, Rhinebeck, NY

The enormity of my crimes is crushing me. I want to hide. How do I measure what I owe? How to repay? Community service, house arrest, Open my home for public cell phone charging?

Of course, I have stopped using.
No, I am not in a program. Just did it cold turkey.
If I ever need some juice, I will always ask, never plug in without permission

Liam is mortified Doesn't want to show his face. His Mommy is far from pawfect.

Snow covers impawfections and out in the snow today Liam is
exploring sniffing running in the winter wooferland and then a nap
no pilfering, no purloining, no pillaging like his Mom- no cell phone needed for Liam to connect with his world
all tuckered out Woof, woof

5 comments:

  1. Do not fret my friend. You can just send me a check for $525.00 and your record will be clean with me. LOL. In reality, I never even give it a second thought when someone plugs in while at my house. To me it is no different than them turning on the tv to view the game, or plugging in a curling iron to do their hair. I started to wonder though how I would feel if I were a business owner, or an employer, an every customer or every employee "plugged in" every day. Wonder if anyone has done a study to see if large companies have noticed an increase in their electric costs.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Carol,

    Too bad Dragnet isn't on anymore. This would have made a "gripping" true life crime story. I guess there's always Law and Order though.

    Izzy

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hi all,
    A dear childhood friend with an engineering background has generously figured the amount of electricity that charging up my BB at Saturn cost. It was a complicated mathematical process and the result was 2/3 of a cent. Multiplied by my serial chargings I come up with 7 cents for all my plugins. I will make it up to all my friends, and local haunts. As for confession, I acted without malice, so no sin. I will now go forth to redeem myself and educate others.
    We did get a buy back at the Pub from which I sucked some electricity.

    ReplyDelete
  4. And with the price that one pays for a pint or two at the Pubs, I am sure they are coming out ahead, even with you taking 2/3rds of a cent from them!

    Remember when we could drink a few at Poor Richards for 25 cents? We are old!!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. yes, someone would go up to the bar and bring back a round for the table and would only pay a couple of dollars. I just checked the freezer. It seems I have 3 mugs from the pub in there to be used as frosted mugs. Won't mention how I secured them. Just that they hold so little, about 3-4 ounces, that we never use them. Perhaps that is why they could sell beer so cheaply-really only a shot glass!

    January 29, 2010 11:37 AM

    ReplyDelete