Lost, Late, Last

SEARCHING

I am often perplexed when folks tell me they get lost. Why don't they use GPS? It is available on every device. And there are online maps. And well, really, how the heck can someone not be prepared? Make a test run. I do.

I am impatient; shaking my head about those bewildered lost folks who are calling, texting, frantically running to make it to an event...it is impossible to get lost nowadays. Really it is.

Except I do. Often. And I had a whopper lost episode last Saturday. We have a sisters-in-law lunch at Seasons 52, a high end restaurant ostensibly in Roosevelt Field. Check it out, link follows
 https://www.seasons52.com/
I am prepared. I have the event date on my iPhone calendar which includes a link and directions and a map. I have the Open Table invite email. I know my route. The trip is supposed to take 15-19 minutes depending on traffic. I allow 45...this will enlarge my arrival window enough to avoid any possibility of lateness or lostness. I have a map propagated from the link. The screen shot of it below does not seem correct. The pin is plunked down on a Subway. Maybe Seasons 52 is also the name of a sandwich.

The second map below shows Seasons 52 next to the Grand Lux cafe. I have this from a Google map app on my phone. Hmm. This discrepancy does not affect my confidence in finding it. I figure I will easily locate it once there.

I have the directions (see screen shot below) and I follow the suggested route. I turn right once. I disregard the instructions after the fourth line. I begin the descent into LOST.

 THE ROAD NOT TRAVELED

I enter the parking maze.
Cars are traveling unlawfully and recklessly. You see, it has snowed (as usual) and there are soft slushy areas as well as granite hard dirt and pebble encrusted snow mountains. These conditions reduce the number of spots. I have a car not a SUV so after a few go rounds I am able to insert it into a half spot; the front of which harbors a small iceberg. Being small and flanked by a huge van, I do not stick out too much. I take it.
Saturday at Roosevelt Field is nightmarish to me. I try to always shop online to avoid going near a mall. Yet, here I am on Saturday at Roosevelt Field. And it is a Saturday after a brutal winter and on the first full day of spring. Eager groups of shoppers careen into me. They unknowingly whack me with their packages. Folks do not realize how much wider they are with their purchases hanging from them.

IS THERE A VIRTUAL PLAYGROUP?

Years ago I was able to negotiate visits to the mall. I had a plan. I would park up top and descend via an escalator. I experienced little human contact. Was in and out. Efficient. Pleasing. I now rarely go to the mall. I am out of practice by at least a decade.

Where is the restaurant?

WHERE IS IT?

Its address is 630 Old Country Road. Of course it is nowhere near Old Country Road. I know this because I came down Old Country Road. I see Dick's Sporting Goods and its address is 600. Okay, Seasons 52 must be nearby. I still don't see it. I feel panic washing over me. I retrieve my phone, tap my contacts. The alphabetical order dictates which sister-in-law gets the first distress call. No answer. I leave a message. As I talk I hear myself becoming unraveled. I might have even denounced Saturday shopping at Roosevelt Field as well the mall venue concept. I sort of remember adding that I might go home. Really. I think I did. I walk for another 10 minutes. Why can I not see it? Proceeding in alphabetical order in my contacts, I phone the next sister-in-law...call does not seem to connect. Irony. I am a person who never makes calls and I have made two. I decide to enter the mall and find a directory. No entrances. How do I get in? Through Penney's? Through Dick's Sporting Goods? I walk and walk. My window of being early is rapidly closing. It is now 12:50 and the reservation is at 1PM. I am irrationally terrified of being late and phobic about being last. Last and on time is disturbing for me. Lost and Late is a condition that engenders a profound negative shift in my view of myself.

HOW DO I GET IN?

Way down on the side I find an entrance and go in. Oh no, this is not better. Swarming shoppers. A cacophony assaults my ears and I consider removing my hearing aids fearing I might lose more hearing. No sense of urgency exhibited by the crowd, they are strolling. But I need to move quickly. Time is running out.

WHICH WAY?

No directory, not a one.

I ask directions of a salesman. He is stationed at a kiosk. Never heard of Seasons 52. He is sorry. I head down the other side. Cognizant that I look crazed. My anxious demeanor contrasts with the desultory movement of the groups of shoppers. I have my phone out and am using the GPS. It shows I am 5 minutes from Seasons 52. I have been 5 minutes away at every point since I parked my car.

ALONE IN A CROWD

I enter a posh jewelry store thinking these folks will know of a non-Food Court restaurant. They don't. And they are also sorry. Me too. I am very sorry. I know I have to get out of the mall. Seasons 52 must not be in the mall! Where is it? No exit. I must enter a store to escape. I race toward Macy's. I have traveled the length of the mall, both sides. I have to go through Macy's to get out. I do.

I see a Macy's guard as I am exiting. I ask him if he knows of Seasons 52. He says "I think it is on the outside." My aha moment. Of course it is. All the good restaurants are. And that is why it has an address. Why would restaurant in a mall need an address? Only outside restaurants need an address. Sigh. I am now out in the parking lot. Alone. Silence

Now I will be able to walk the perimeter and find Seasons 52. Not so fast. The entire facade is under construction. No signs visible, only scaffolding. I make a third call to my next in line sister-in-law. Success. An answer and directions. I have made 3 personal phone calls in one day. A record. One I hope to never break. I now am going to be a few minutes late as well as last. But not left out which is my worst fear. I arrive at 1:05. Late and Last but not Lost and Left out.

Questions

Why did I enter the mall? 

Why didn't I follow the instructions?

Why didn't I turn on my phone while driving and listen to the GPS?

Why didn't I call the restaurant?

Why did I walk left and not right?
Why didn't I use my "lost" time wisely and buy shoes on my way through Macy's? Or at least accept the ubiquitous offers of free sprays of perfume?

Why do have all these issues? 

I think it is some sort of psychotic episode brought on by my Saturday mall fear and fueled by my regular "l" issues...lose, last, late, left out.

My favorite TV show of all time is Lost. See link for a refresher. It ended 5 years ago. May 2010.

http://abc.go.com/shows/lost/about-the-show

No one was ever as lost as those folks. In June 2010, I bought a Ford Focus. I named him, Sawyer, after my favorite Lost character James "Sawyer" Ford. Here he is:
http://lostpedia.wikia.com/wiki/James_%22Sawyer%22_Ford
Maybe I am trying to channel the Losties' experience.

In the end they all found one another. It took a while (some were lost for eons) but they did. 

And so did I.

Exiting the mall area is accomplished swiftly.
Once home, I perform a hard reboot to put myself back on a rational track. This "restart" consists of a visit to the health club. I walk on the treadmill and read. Walking and reading transport me to another zone. Exhaust the body, focus the mind and override emotions.
Later that evening I complete the reboot with some red wine.
Brain rewired. All is okay.
Who was that "lost, late, last person? Not me. How in the world do people get lost? Seriously...there are devices...
Safe at home again.

And do try the restaurant. It is classy and cozy and peaceful. An antidote to the mall experience. No need to even go near the stores. Seasons 52 is only tangentially in the Roosevelt Field mall. Actually best to think of it as located in Garden City.

Woof, Woof

Time Marches Onward

LIAM AT HIS PERCH DURING MARCH 5 STORM

My mother Ruth said that a lot. It went like this "Carol, time marches onward" then the addendum, "tempus fugit." Imprinting in my brain a vague anxiety as well as a future affinity for Latin.

I checked out the first quote and found many have said something similar and that there is no definitive attribution.
The tempus fugit phrase was easier to find.

See the following link

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tempus_fugit

Guess she liked delivering well timed announcements.

Timeline
January
Watching the Honeymooner marathon on New Year's Day.
Hunkering down awaiting the storm of the century on January 26.
February
Canceled and rescheduled over and over.

March 
Snuck in on a Sunday and somehow we are already in the middle of it!
Tempus Fugit.

Lots of expectations for this month. A lion represents its arrival and a lamb its end. Snow piled high. Streets narrowed by encroaching snow. A swing month. Something of everything.
Hiatused shows returning, number of awards shows diminishing. Liam watched all. But lost interest during the Oscars after he saw his namesake Liam Neeson.

LIAM TURNS AWAY 
after seeing his namesake Liam Neeson present an award, 
no longer interested

The other seasons slide into each other easily...fall into winter, spring into summer. Winter into spring...not as easy. And March has both...the juxtaposition is often jarring.
The archaic and annoying daylight savings time is implemented, stealing an hour from us.
Ten feet of snow on the ground in places. Sunlight glaring off the snow. What a jumble of images and events.

We will share our March jumble.in this week's LiamLicks.

March
Since the New Year we have been anticipating turning the page to March on our Pet Valu calendar. Our New Hyde Park Pet Valu is adjacent to our Starbucks so we see it on a daily basis. Pet Valu produces its own calendar and the monthly featured pets are winners of a contest that was held in August/September 2014. The 13 (cover included) pets who made it received the most votes. It feels like only yesterday that we brought home the calendar!

http://petvalu.com/about-pet-valu/

PET VALU CALENDAR COVER

March is the first month featuring a dog. And he is a customer at our New Hyde Park Pet Valu! 
January had a ferret, February a cat. March's portrait is of Ricky. See him third from the left.. 

I thought we had a chance of Liam making it onto the calendar. Fresh off our Animal League poster selection, I thought Liam had it in the bag. Not. I missed the cues as to what would appeal. A seasonal motif. The dog as the star. No accoutrements. Our photo entry follows.You can see it does not fit...too many pillows, too many gifts. The couch is bigger than Liam. Should have done some cropping and zooming in.

OUR ENTRY

Ricky is an outstanding choice. One brown eye, one blue. And wearing a jazzy green neck scarf with a St. Patrick's Day theme. Of course! Perfect for March. Liam is okay with his non-selection. After all his photo hangs on Pet Valu's wall all year long. Thank You!

RICKY

Treats will always distract from a disappointment and Liam is enjoying St. Patrick's yummies from his Aunt. He nibbles on small pieces each day. We are trying to make them last till next week. As I hand them down to him I have to suppress the urge to try one. The company says they are fine for humans.

                                                                   We have a big storm. Then melting. The temps rise and fall.

7 degrees is the new 20

30 degrees is the new 50
over 50 has people in shorts and coatless

          Inclement weather. 

Snowy and sunny. Cold. Warmer. March is a wild mix. We are inside and outside. Adjusting to each day. And the days feel as if they are flying by. The hour we lost last weekend propels us into the second week of March. Soaring temps. These will soon to be a memory as winter settles in again next week.

KEETS, KRISTIN AND KAYSAR 
viewing the storm from the safety of their cage

LIAM AND I SHELTERING IN PLACE
and below more photos from these two weeks

PASSING THE TIME WITH COUCH AND KONG

    


TIME 

MARCHES

ONWARD


TEMPUS 

FUGIT

   


 Woof, Woof

Chopped by Butter Boy

WAITING FOR KIBBLE, DREAMING OF BUTTER

We don't give Liam much human food. A little here and there. A plop of peanut butter and a few latte foam licks and turkey slices for training. Oh and Greek yogurt licks and some popcorn Friday's after Crabtree's. Therefore when he snagged part of Daddy Paul's buttered bagel and a lamb chop in the same day he scored a feast bigger than anything he has had in a long time.

Butter Boy
Liam loves butter. We know from his repeat upward leaps whenever butter is out on the kitchen counter. A few months ago he earned his sobriquet "butter boy" by sucking in a quarter pound of butter. He paw-swiped it off the counter. I heard the clatter of the fallen dish and spied the stick as it was sliding backward into his mouth. I reached for it but butter is impossible to grip. Land o Lakes, Liam's favorite. We now know to push it far back on the counter.

We affectionately call him Butter Boy when the butter is on the counter and in use.

Following photos illustrate the butter incident.

HMM I SMELL LAND O LAKES

GOT IT!

Buttered Bagel

On a recent Sunday Paul received two phone calls. The compelling ring of the land line still causes Paul to run to answer. We were expecting a call from a snow removal service. In this frigid snowy winter that is a call one wants to answer. Paul jumped and ran for it. Just as quickly Liam jumped at the bagel resting on the arm of the couch. I was in the room but do not possess the leaping ability of a beagle boy zeroed in on a buttered bagel. He got it. I ripped it from his mouth. This was a Starbucks bagel and they are cakey not chewy. It broke into pieces. And I got most of it back. I am sure this partial meal whetted Liam's appetite.
And there would be more.

WATCHING AND WAITING

The Lamb Chop

Late in the day Paul was doing the garbage chore. Tying up the hefty bag and putting it out. Another phone call. Quick one, Liam quick also. Bag left on floor. Liam's head in it, rummaging and sniffing and pushing its contents around

and emerging with a dryer sheet hanging from his mouth concealing what I suspected was a lamb chop. Or the remains. I ran after him. Paul joined in. To the back of the couch, then to the love seat, Paul at one end me at the other...we cornered him and dragged him out. I then put my hand in his mouth. Really. I did that. In an adult dog's mouth with greenie strengthened teeth. I used to do it when he was a puppy and he always relinquished the item. His teeth clamped on my hand. Grownup Liam does not surrender anything once it is  in his mouth. To save me Paul got turkey and peanut butter to distract Liam. It worked. After an interminable wait I was able to pull out my hand. The chop was ground to bits and swallowed. 

Photo reenactment of the lamb chop hide and seek by Liam's stunt double

BEHIND COUCH-CHOP HIDING PLACE

BEHIND LOVE SEAT

CHECKING FOR PARENTS

What a day.

Lessons 

Let the answering machine get the call.

Never take eyes off Liam when food is out

Do not put hand into dog's mouth.  My hand came dangerously close to being chopped.

Teach Liam the "drop it" command

Meanwhile Liam is off to dreamland; his toys watching over him. A wildly satisfying hunt will cause a dog to feel sleepy...and no longer interested in us. 

Woof, Woof

Liam Lost and Found

LIAM ON HIS PERCH

Liam at 7 years old does not like the snow. Puppy Liam was okay with it and seemed to have fun in it. Seemed to but did he really? I am now rethinking my memory of his snow sojourns. What I saw as carefree leaping and snow swimming might have been desperate attempts to keep the snow away from his body, and get his business done quickly.

ANY WAY OUT? I HAVE TO STEP IN THIS?

Liam pounds his side door poochie bells signaling a desire to be released to do his bathroom break. Startled to see snow, he practically dances to the back yard. Liam does not like the feel of the snow on his feet. To avoid sinking in he steps in previously established paw prints or human shoe impressions.

I HAVE TO FIND MY PRINTS

HERE ARE SOME MORE

 SNOUT SNIFF

His low slung body dips into the snow and crouching promises more frigid feelings. Visits outside have become opportunities for sniffing yellow patches and adding his own DNA.

How to escape? Is the snow less on the other side?
Liam has been fixated on the yard abutting ours.

THE BACK FENCE

And it has become more interesting over the years as the pieces of the fence have fallen off affording a view into our neighbors' lives.

THE KNOWN OPENING TIED UP

We don't know whose fence it is. It will have to be replaced. So far tying it back up with rope is the way we are fixing it. We did not notice that one plank had drifted back creating a triangular opening, small at the bottom and widening as it reached the top.

Liam noticed. He often sat in front of this aperture looking into their yard. A little dog used to lived there and possibly Liam was hoping for its return. Or maybe looking for a less snowy yard.

On a recent Sunday, I left him looking, returning to the house for my phone, intending to snap some shots. I was gone a few minutes at most. I reentered the backyard, the phone camera ready and aimed at Liam. Or where he had been. "Liam, Liam, LIAM!" Where are you? I looked, I called. I went around the far side of the house. No sign of him. The "lost" pet checklist flashed in front of me as well as the difficulties in finding a lost Liam.

Liam 

Micro chipped.

Has his name and address and phone number on his collar.

Has a Home Again tag.

Has a rabies ID number
Has a Town of North Hempstead ID number

That adds up to a lot of identifying jewelry around his neck.

And he is known in the 'hood. A celebrity. He owns a blog. He is a social media star.

Liam

A chaser of squirrels
birds and rabbits

Non discriminating about strangers. He will go to anyone.

Has a disregard for traffic

                                                           strong stubborn independent

Will not always come when called

I rushed back to the side door, yelled into Paul. "Is Liam back in?" No. Both of us are now out and searching. I am one of those pet parents who has shaken my head when I hear of a lost pet. Always thinking that the human must have been less than vigilant. Well, animals are wily. They can slink and jump and burrow and climb. They slip out of harnesses and leashes. It happens to every pet parent. and now it is happening to us. Paul runs to the front of the house and calls "Liam." A few shouts and he sees Liam on the corner trotting along as if he owns the boulevard. Upon hearing his name Liam turns up our block to meet Paul. And he is back with us. He does not seem afraid. Upon entering the yard he races around the perimeter several times.
A joyful release? Or an expression of anxiety?

Liam is the same. Not us. It takes a while for us to recover. We tie up the hanging plank.

The space is too small for Liam right now. but this is only buying a bit of time. We have to do something down the line to ensure that he stays safe.

 And the snows continue...
 Liam keeps looking and exploring.

WHERE IS TANGO? MAYBE SHE WILL HELP ME ESCAPE

IN THE SUMMER THERE WAS A HOLE HERE

Liam wants out of this snow playpen. He believes the grass is greener on the other side.

Liam, it is not.
But he is trying to get out. Click to see

Please don't scare your parents again.

Stay home, soak up the sun. Get your Vitamin D.

Curl up on the couch.

Forecast
Cold with Snow.
Parents with Worry.

Woof, Woof